the only consistent thing in my life is inconsistency and I hate it I go after the thing I swear to dedicate my life to but then I realise consiously or subconsiously that I'm getting too attached to it that I just back away.. acting as if its gonna bite back smh its so annoying this applies to literally anything in my life its so bad. friendships, routine, AND MY DAMN HOBBIES like bro I'm the obstacle that always get in my way I'm so annoyed and tired of myself at this point. writing? yea never gonna finish it even after MONTHS of world building and story ideas, fics that I'm only reading(!??!) I cant get back to (worse I comment too much and they still update but I feel like I cant comment anymore) frick this I hate the expectations I have of me and then my mindset changes to 'it is what it is, I don't care' yadayada right after I would always feel everything so deeply and care so deeply and then back to not feeling it again this sounds corny ash but its so annoying it hurts
the only consistent thing in my life is inconsistency and I hate it I go after the thing I swear to dedicate my life to but then I realise consiously or subconsiously that I'm getting too attached to it that I just back away.. acting as if its gonna bite back smh its so annoying this applies to literally anything in my life its so bad. friendships, routine, AND MY DAMN HOBBIES like bro I'm the obstacle that always get in my way I'm so annoyed and tired of myself at this point. writing? yea never gonna finish it even after MONTHS of world building and story ideas, fics that I'm only reading(!??!) I cant get back to (worse I comment too much and they still update but I feel like I cant comment anymore) frick this I hate the expectations I have of me and then my mindset changes to 'it is what it is, I don't care' yadayada right after I would always feel everything so deeply and care so deeply and then back to not feeling it again this sounds corny ash but its so annoying it hurts