This is a thankfully short story that's an average attempt at writing an edgy psychological comic. The issues here are that a lot of things that happen just don't make sense or are not justified/set-up by the plot. Plus some questionable art choices.
Nothing at all is done with Ace being a football guy. It says he's a QB but it shows him running with the ball in like one panel (normally you'd show him in the pocket ready to pass/throw), so maybe he's a running back or wide receiver instead? Either way, it seems little effort is made by the author to understand anything about the sport one of their leads plays.
Meanwhile Colin is called a loser but is good looking despite glasses (like, every other character including the gf is drawn much uglier) and Colin gets good grades so it doesn't make a lot of sense why anyone would call him a loser aside from jealousy. Idk.
(spoilers) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . When people say "cheating", are they referring to Ace going on dates with the gf? Or are they referring to the locker room blowjob scene? I can't figure it out. If Ace basically MAKES Colin do it, is it really cheating? If Ace doesn't actually do anything with his gf and can't stand being with her and Colin knows about it from the beginning, is it really cheating? I'm not sure what it is people are referring to with this.
Anyway.
Is his name Colin because it sounds like and is spelled like Colon? May as well call them Ace Ramrod and Colon McButthole.
Let's start with the art. I have to say, the character designs for the two leads are fine. They both are clearly hot/attractive. Someone even says that Ace was only put on the football team because he's hot and people want to look at him, not because he has any skills. LOL. Although even this fucboi seems to get really good grades, since he was #2 only behind Colin. However, the artist's ability to draw these two consistently is sketchy at best. And all the other characters in the story, including the gf are drawn much uglier, presumably by choice. And I'm just gonna say it, the dicks are weird. Fat, stumpy, with a wide mushroom cap on the end. It's like something AI would come up with after only being described what a d!ck looks like.
This story does not have a main character. From the start, we have no one's perspective and just kind of hear students talking about the two leads. Then we take Ace's perspective for a little bit, and then Colin's at some point. As readers we get behind Ace defending Colin early on, then Colin after Ace starts being kind of a pr!ck to him. Then at some point the audience is like well, they're both jerks. It's really hard to have a story people like if you don't clearly define a main character and make them sympathetic. This works against the story from the get-go.
Meanwhile, Colin ever assuming Ace would be interested in him regardless of anything Colin did is a bit of a stretch. Not only is Ace hetero-coded from the beginning, the whole point of the plot is that he's a selfish ahole fucboi that uses and tosses away women. The plan is stupid because there's no indication Ace would ever be interested in another dude. This would only work in BL-crazyworld where everyone is gay or bi.
The druggie subplot was a completely out of nowhere deus ex machina to awkwardly force a power shift between the two leads and was not set-up at all. Ace's justification for doing the drugs works against the plot as well since it would make more sense for him to dive in excitedly rather than being hesitant. I'm not even sure why Colin pulled away given he was in it for the revenge/money not because he was ever necessarily interested in Ace. This whole section falls on its face and needs a rewrite.
Lastly, there isn't really any wrap-up at the end of this story. Colin does an "ah HA! you've been punked!" and then ... just decides he's fine to continue this relationship/sexual dynamic with Ace? Ace doesn't seem to care AT ALL that this whole thing was a setup to take him down. And if Colin continues his relationship with Ace then ... I'm sorry, but the revenge was not had at all. It's that girl who was actually punked. ╮(￣▽￣"")╭
This is a thankfully short story that's an average attempt at writing an edgy psychological comic. The issues here are that a lot of things that happen just don't make sense or are not justified/set-up by the plot. Plus some questionable art choices.
Nothing at all is done with Ace being a football guy. It says he's a QB but it shows him running with the ball in like one panel (normally you'd show him in the pocket ready to pass/throw), so maybe he's a running back or wide receiver instead? Either way, it seems little effort is made by the author to understand anything about the sport one of their leads plays.
Meanwhile Colin is called a loser but is good looking despite glasses (like, every other character including the gf is drawn much uglier) and Colin gets good grades so it doesn't make a lot of sense why anyone would call him a loser aside from jealousy. Idk.
(spoilers)
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When people say "cheating", are they referring to Ace going on dates with the gf? Or are they referring to the locker room blowjob scene? I can't figure it out. If Ace basically MAKES Colin do it, is it really cheating? If Ace doesn't actually do anything with his gf and can't stand being with her and Colin knows about it from the beginning, is it really cheating? I'm not sure what it is people are referring to with this.
Anyway.
Is his name Colin because it sounds like and is spelled like Colon? May as well call them Ace Ramrod and Colon McButthole.
Let's start with the art. I have to say, the character designs for the two leads are fine. They both are clearly hot/attractive. Someone even says that Ace was only put on the football team because he's hot and people want to look at him, not because he has any skills. LOL. Although even this fucboi seems to get really good grades, since he was #2 only behind Colin. However, the artist's ability to draw these two consistently is sketchy at best. And all the other characters in the story, including the gf are drawn much uglier, presumably by choice. And I'm just gonna say it, the dicks are weird. Fat, stumpy, with a wide mushroom cap on the end. It's like something AI would come up with after only being described what a d!ck looks like.
This story does not have a main character. From the start, we have no one's perspective and just kind of hear students talking about the two leads. Then we take Ace's perspective for a little bit, and then Colin's at some point. As readers we get behind Ace defending Colin early on, then Colin after Ace starts being kind of a pr!ck to him. Then at some point the audience is like well, they're both jerks. It's really hard to have a story people like if you don't clearly define a main character and make them sympathetic. This works against the story from the get-go.
Meanwhile, Colin ever assuming Ace would be interested in him regardless of anything Colin did is a bit of a stretch. Not only is Ace hetero-coded from the beginning, the whole point of the plot is that he's a selfish ahole fucboi that uses and tosses away women. The plan is stupid because there's no indication Ace would ever be interested in another dude. This would only work in BL-crazyworld where everyone is gay or bi.
The druggie subplot was a completely out of nowhere deus ex machina to awkwardly force a power shift between the two leads and was not set-up at all. Ace's justification for doing the drugs works against the plot as well since it would make more sense for him to dive in excitedly rather than being hesitant. I'm not even sure why Colin pulled away given he was in it for the revenge/money not because he was ever necessarily interested in Ace. This whole section falls on its face and needs a rewrite.
Lastly, there isn't really any wrap-up at the end of this story. Colin does an "ah HA! you've been punked!" and then ... just decides he's fine to continue this relationship/sexual dynamic with Ace? Ace doesn't seem to care AT ALL that this whole thing was a setup to take him down. And if Colin continues his relationship with Ace then ... I'm sorry, but the revenge was not had at all. It's that girl who was actually punked. ╮(￣▽￣"")╭