The angst is soo well donee it hurtsss... Ian and TJs bond is just so deep and complex (but toxic)...they've overcome so much because they love each other but at the same timee the wounds theyve given each other have finally festered to a head
Like they both feel tied to each other by guilt (TJ for causing Ian's accident and Ian for causing TJs scar and "making" him take drastic measures to become further embedded in the org) for both ultimately eliminating the other's options to become something and so became stuck with each other and the organization that became their only choice....BUT Ian has always wanted had to put up with everything (i.e. TJ being with other people, staying in the org even though he hates it, the injury, the debt, etc) with no end in sight, which TJ ignored over and over and he even admits he just expected Ian to understand.... I know a lot of people are saying Ian is asking for too much from TJ to give up everything but don't forget that when Ian went to the funeral, he basically was ready to give up the normal life he wanted and rejoin the organization and the life that was killing him FOR TJ and to protect him. But TJ rejected that by ghosting Ian after, claiming it was to "protect" Ian (and I think cause deep down he knows Ian will be miserable and he'll lose him one way or the other because he cannot give up the org) I know a lot of people are saying Ian is the indecisive one but in my opinion, it's TJ who is indecisive because he can't choose between the two things he really wants despite knowing they cannot coexist...tbh I think Ian has been trying to be decisive but it's TJ that keeps holding him back despite being unable to fully commit and ultimately jerking Ian around for 20 years...like Ian decided so many things: 1) leaving to CA to pursue his biking career, 2) staying with TJ in the organization until it starts killing him, 3) leaving the organization, 4) going to the funeral (ready to rejoin the org for TJ), and 4.5) moving on after TJ ghosted him and hesitantly trying things out with Joseph, 5) going along with the bad guys trap to protect Joseph and leaving (without giving Jo an empty promise) because he thinks he's a risk to Joseph But each time, TJ clings to Ian because of his insecurity at the expense of Ian, and Ian always overlooked it for TJ - 1) caused Ian's accident so he couldnt leave, 2) keeps the scar and has relations with other women to grow his clout, tying Ian to him despite not being able to choose him, 3) made Ian go to prison so he'd get debt to the org and have to stick around, 4) ghosting Ian because he's scared Ian will become miserable in the org and leave him again for good, 5) coming back now to ask Ian to "choose to" come back now that Ian is in deeper shit "of his own doing". While both TJ and Ian may be "leading someone on" with their indecisiveness, imo Ian is just taking his time to reach his decision (mainly because he wanted to leave the door open for TJ) BUT he's aware of what he is doing, is mostly honest about it, and agonizes about making a decision soon but also has left it so Jo can leave at any time. The same cannot be said for TJ...he actively ties Ian to him with debt and guilt and KNOWINGLY avoids making a decision for yearrssss because he cant bear to lose anything (how much of that is insecurity or greed is debatable). Imo TJs ultimately been greedy and selfish despite all the nuance (remember Ian has been through so much trauma too! - arguably even more than TJ) especially because Ian also has patiently put up with this out of love - fully aware of what and why TJ is doing all this, but there is no happy ending for Ian until TJ chooses him someday....and unfortunately, Ian can't wait any longer so he's forcing TJ to make a decision (because let's be real, he won't make a decision unless Ian makes him). In the end, the only thing Ian was indecisive about was forcing TJs choice and Ian has to bear the brunt of the pain again by forcing it. He's such an impressive and realistic character imo - hes developing so much and facing things head on despite all the damage he's taken
The angst is soo well donee it hurtsss...
Ian and TJs bond is just so deep and complex (but toxic)...they've overcome so much because they love each other but at the same timee the wounds theyve given each other have finally festered to a head
Like they both feel tied to each other by guilt (TJ for causing Ian's accident and Ian for causing TJs scar and "making" him take drastic measures to become further embedded in the org) for both ultimately eliminating the other's options to become something and so became stuck with each other and the organization that became their only choice....BUT Ian has always wanted had to put up with everything (i.e. TJ being with other people, staying in the org even though he hates it, the injury, the debt, etc) with no end in sight, which TJ ignored over and over and he even admits he just expected Ian to understand....
I know a lot of people are saying Ian is asking for too much from TJ to give up everything but don't forget that when Ian went to the funeral, he basically was ready to give up the normal life he wanted and rejoin the organization and the life that was killing him FOR TJ and to protect him. But TJ rejected that by ghosting Ian after, claiming it was to "protect" Ian (and I think cause deep down he knows Ian will be miserable and he'll lose him one way or the other because he cannot give up the org)
I know a lot of people are saying Ian is the indecisive one but in my opinion, it's TJ who is indecisive because he can't choose between the two things he really wants despite knowing they cannot coexist...tbh I think Ian has been trying to be decisive but it's TJ that keeps holding him back despite being unable to fully commit and ultimately jerking Ian around for 20 years...like Ian decided so many things: 1) leaving to CA to pursue his biking career, 2) staying with TJ in the organization until it starts killing him, 3) leaving the organization, 4) going to the funeral (ready to rejoin the org for TJ), and 4.5) moving on after TJ ghosted him and hesitantly trying things out with Joseph, 5) going along with the bad guys trap to protect Joseph and leaving (without giving Jo an empty promise) because he thinks he's a risk to Joseph
But each time, TJ clings to Ian because of his insecurity at the expense of Ian, and Ian always overlooked it for TJ - 1) caused Ian's accident so he couldnt leave, 2) keeps the scar and has relations with other women to grow his clout, tying Ian to him despite not being able to choose him, 3) made Ian go to prison so he'd get debt to the org and have to stick around, 4) ghosting Ian because he's scared Ian will become miserable in the org and leave him again for good, 5) coming back now to ask Ian to "choose to" come back now that Ian is in deeper shit "of his own doing".
While both TJ and Ian may be "leading someone on" with their indecisiveness, imo Ian is just taking his time to reach his decision (mainly because he wanted to leave the door open for TJ) BUT he's aware of what he is doing, is mostly honest about it, and agonizes about making a decision soon but also has left it so Jo can leave at any time. The same cannot be said for TJ...he actively ties Ian to him with debt and guilt and KNOWINGLY avoids making a decision for yearrssss because he cant bear to lose anything (how much of that is insecurity or greed is debatable). Imo TJs ultimately been greedy and selfish despite all the nuance (remember Ian has been through so much trauma too! - arguably even more than TJ) especially because Ian also has patiently put up with this out of love - fully aware of what and why TJ is doing all this, but there is no happy ending for Ian until TJ chooses him someday....and unfortunately, Ian can't wait any longer so he's forcing TJ to make a decision (because let's be real, he won't make a decision unless Ian makes him). In the end, the only thing Ian was indecisive about was forcing TJs choice and Ian has to bear the brunt of the pain again by forcing it. He's such an impressive and realistic character imo - hes developing so much and facing things head on despite all the damage he's taken