game rant

i just got a massive lore drop after playing soft mode on dol the whole time until i lost my fucking save files so i started over in normal mode and holy fuckity fuck. like, what the fuck. and my religious trauma doesn't make this any better. i missed out on so much and i'm starting to feel like this game is slowly but surely integrating itself into my life. everytime i see or read something that is vaguely symbolic i always relate back to this game somehow, even if it's completely unrelated. idk if it's just because i'm the type to really get into character with this sort of thing, especially since the game leaves the mc personalization up to the players so it's very easy to imagine oneself as the character
i've cried and think negatively when i see my pc gets hurt and all that and i've always dreak about a better life for them. i also feel very close to Sydney, i imagine myself kissing them and embracing them... i'm getting sidetracked here
so i feel like this is getting unhealthy but i'm too deep into the rabbit hole now and i don't got nothing going on with my life at the moment except this boring ass, suicidal ass, business major college ass life