Can I just say I love all the implications of how the author shows sihyun is so comfortable with being self destructive in a way.... reflects to the nature of their relationship too, and all the times we see sihyun left w marks of the sort while joohwan is clean (ik the marks is mainly because of the cheating misunderstanding and also not saying subs in bdsm are inherently self destructive, it's just a very interesting visual takeaway that shows a lot for me) feels like for sihyun it's made VERY apparent that he has this inclination towards joohwan only cus he only knows how to get his attention thru the degradement of himself(?) like how he always offhandedly mention "he's as horrible as joohwan/he's no better", the nail picking and clearly has some self loathing for being in this situation but keeps going back to it without hesitation, like a moth running into flame. that's why he always seem so perplexed when joohwan shows concern to him, I feel it takes him off guard cus he never expected the fire to soothe , and I just think that's sadly adorable love him so much, the way he grabs for more when given an inch by pretending it hurts too, he doesn't care for his own hurt but how he can use his own hurt to gain the attention of joohwan OTL like when joohwan bandaged up his ripped fingers back then when he picked on them out of anxiety , god I LOVE THEM, MY SILLIES ╥﹏╥
Can I just say I love all the implications of how the author shows sihyun is so comfortable with being self destructive in a way.... reflects to the nature of their relationship too, and all the times we see sihyun left w marks of the sort while joohwan is clean (ik the marks is mainly because of the cheating misunderstanding and also not saying subs in bdsm are inherently self destructive, it's just a very interesting visual takeaway that shows a lot for me) feels like for sihyun it's made VERY apparent that he has this inclination towards joohwan only cus he only knows how to get his attention thru the degradement of himself(?) like how he always offhandedly mention "he's as horrible as joohwan/he's no better", the nail picking and clearly has some self loathing for being in this situation but keeps going back to it without hesitation, like a moth running into flame. that's why he always seem so perplexed when joohwan shows concern to him, I feel it takes him off guard cus he never expected the fire to soothe , and I just think that's sadly adorable love him so much, the way he grabs for more when given an inch by pretending it hurts too, he doesn't care for his own hurt but how he can use his own hurt to gain the attention of joohwan OTL like when joohwan bandaged up his ripped fingers back then when he picked on them out of anxiety , god I LOVE THEM, MY SILLIES ╥﹏╥