Chapter 56: This is the chapter where he decided both he and Bum would “start over”. We can see from the feast, the ambience, the admission that he hated the song that he once kept listening to (probably his mother's favourite), and his compliance in humouring Bum. Before, he'd accept Bum as his mother's substitute (refer to chapter 18 and below), but now he flinched and looked scared when he imagined his mother as Bum, not the other way around.
This episode was very direct at implying his desire to escape his trauma. When our brain wants to find closure, it would invoke our deepest fears for us to escape it—similar to the act of forgiving. To forgive someone, we will be reminded of what they did first before we find closure (to forgive). We can see now that he was scared when he hallucinated that his mother appeared as Bum, because what he wanted was to depend on Bum without seeing his mother anymore. I believe Sangwoo would be able to fully escape from his mother if only Bum didn't say or do things that trigger his fears. Let's break this down:
1. Bum wanted them to call each other “babe”. Sangwoo tolerated this because he was on that end line of escaping his mother. 2. Sangwoo said he went up the mountains to be reminded of his mother, but instead he was only reminded of Bum = The effect of having Bum in his life was bigger than his mother's; it made him terrified because it was unfamiliar. 3. He was fine seeing Bum in his dreams but got scared when he was replaced by his mother. 4. Bum's pet name for him reminded him of his mother. 5. Bum called him “babe” when they had sex, and Sangwoo shut him up because he didn't want to be reminded of his mother. 6. The biggest trigger: Bum riding him in the same position his mother sexually abused him.
Sangwoo saying “mom” was a traumatic response. The words before that were directed to Bum (he asked to see Bum's face to ground himself to reality), yet his mouth subconsciously reacted to the trauma. The panel showed he didn't have a recollection of what he said until Bum repeated it.
Chapter 56: This is the chapter where he decided both he and Bum would “start over”. We can see from the feast, the ambience, the admission that he hated the song that he once kept listening to (probably his mother's favourite), and his compliance in humouring Bum. Before, he'd accept Bum as his mother's substitute (refer to chapter 18 and below), but now he flinched and looked scared when he imagined his mother as Bum, not the other way around.
This episode was very direct at implying his desire to escape his trauma. When our brain wants to find closure, it would invoke our deepest fears for us to escape it—similar to the act of forgiving. To forgive someone, we will be reminded of what they did first before we find closure (to forgive). We can see now that he was scared when he hallucinated that his mother appeared as Bum, because what he wanted was to depend on Bum without seeing his mother anymore. I believe Sangwoo would be able to fully escape from his mother if only Bum didn't say or do things that trigger his fears. Let's break this down:
1. Bum wanted them to call each other “babe”. Sangwoo tolerated this because he was on that end line of escaping his mother.
2. Sangwoo said he went up the mountains to be reminded of his mother, but instead he was only reminded of Bum = The effect of having Bum in his life was bigger than his mother's; it made him terrified because it was unfamiliar.
3. He was fine seeing Bum in his dreams but got scared when he was replaced by his mother.
4. Bum's pet name for him reminded him of his mother.
5. Bum called him “babe” when they had sex, and Sangwoo shut him up because he didn't want to be reminded of his mother.
6. The biggest trigger: Bum riding him in the same position his mother sexually abused him.
Sangwoo saying “mom” was a traumatic response. The words before that were directed to Bum (he asked to see Bum's face to ground himself to reality), yet his mouth subconsciously reacted to the trauma. The panel showed he didn't have a recollection of what he said until Bum repeated it.