It hurts the person who has feelings to constantly be around someone who doesn't and in your case, will never, reciprocate it. A lot of people want to be loved and just like it's not your fault you don't love them back in that way; it's not their fault they fell in love, but they can control how much it's hurting them. Distance is necessary in healing.
It's kind of like having a sprained wrist and it hurts to use it so your doctor says, "then don't. Splint it and let it heal." Same thing for matters of the heart. The pain of unrequited love heals with distance and time.
all of this!!! in real life, this is such a complicated situation and the person isn't obligated to reciprocate their friend's romantic feelings if they don't feel the same way. And the ultimatum is just not fair. I get that you can't stay friends with someone you're romantically and sexually attracted to, but "you either love me back or we can't be friends" is just hurtful and unfair.
very valid point and I agree, but I don't think disappearing on someone is the best solution either. These situations are just hard for both people.
We don't get a say in what helps other people heal. It sucks, yes, but I'll tell you now that if you let the hurt fester into any angst--it turns into hatred and then into a grudge. Regardless if anyone is blameless, this is just how it goes so if someone asks for distance or disappears? Understandably one would be upset, but just know they love you so much they don't want to hate you because I guarantee you that if they stayed, they would hate you.
-from personal experience AND experiences of a lot of the people around me (friends or people that just need a therapist word vomiting their problems at me)
totally agree
I don't like that every time magically they start loving them just to not make them disappear but "in reality i always love you, i just didn't know"
And as much, as i already said, i understand that loving someone who doesn't reciprocate hurts... distancing i can't justify it.
You can't just pretend to leave everyone in the whole world just because they don't love you romantically back. Maybe they stayed with you in EVERY SADF AND HAPPY MOEMENT, and just cause you can't bear to have a NO SAID TO YOU, you leave them
It fucking hurts, and i'm tired that people only care about the persone who leaves but not the leaved ones. I'm tired that everytime the focus is on them
But what if it hurts for them to stay? Would you just let them suffer? That sounds kind of selfish, which is what you just accused them of being
It is selfish either way. But you can't expect the whole world to love you back, and if they don't love you then cut them off your life. Life doesn't work like that. They are adults, we are adults, life goes beyond a simple "mwaw, he doesn't wanna smooch with meee".
I met a guy who fell in love everytime he met a new girl friend. The first was me, i rejected him. Next was a friend of his, and he was rejected. Next was another friend of his and they got together for 1 month, before breaking up. Spoiler, he doesn't talk to either of us anymore.
This is not a mature way of handling pain.
You know not the whole world goes around romantic love...
Don't want them to suffer. Get a therapist...
The world is full of rejection. Get used to it.
AND yes, the world is full also of poeple who disappear from your life. So yes, i also need to get used to it. BUT as i said in my previous messages,
Circumstances are important.
I understand going away after being seriously hurt or betrayed. I cannot justify a simple "no i dont love u back romantically, but i would die for you and be there always" and be that hurt
ok so... i hate what the main seme said (sorry i forgot the names).
Just because you don't love a person back you need to let them go far far away from you?
I can understand the secretary.. staying with the person you love but can't be together hurts... but literally pushing your love to him one random day and disappearing the other.. do you think is any better?
I'm aroace... and i got some poeple who confessed to me... they were my friends... and when i did reject them... they stayed for just a week more before disappearing from my life... THIS FUCKING HURTS.. just because i can't reciprocate your feelings i deserve to be alone??? Last time it happend, my friend tried to stay in contact with me for some months more, but the second he got together with his actual girlfriend he disappeared from my life. I hate love... and i hate even more when the moral is this.
Ok classic in this manhwea in reality the artist was ALWAYS IN LOVE WITH HIS secretary and never understood it. ok... but life is not always like a manhwa.... and it's not his fault for not loving him back