spoilers

no please i need to know ur thoughts because im so angry rn

why else would you have an English degree if not to verbalize your toxic yaoi experience with eloquence

OK this is really long and jumbled up sorry. i wna preface that i dislike eunhan but i def see and understand why he’s so fucked up. regardless of what he does, get behind me hangyul!!!!!!!

ngl idek what i want anymore. i want eunhan to die and grovel, i want heewon to get w the brother but logistically i feel like jooyeon doesn’t even gaf abt him like that at this point. im surprised we haven’t seen his point of view. id hate for the reason to be because he was working so much. heewon and hangyul would be fun but… it’s literally all just way too complicated like we need to go bald and start over. i just want hangyul to live a normal life w his brother like ?????

also despite eunhan having countless insane moments, i can’t help but remember that he was a kid that didn’t know better making that stupid wish, growing up in an environment reliant on spirituality and getting outcasted from that bc of things that are out of his control. hangyul never even asked for any of this at all. even as an adult, i can’t tell if the strings and this altered destiny and the wish was making eunhan act a certain way without even knowing it bc that’s exactly what he’d been asking for. i mean that was never even hinted in the text anywhere for eunhan specifically, but the strings are most definitely controlling some sort of emotions for heewon right??? it’s def a fair assumption for eunhan’s behavior. (NOT the emotional manipulation part tho and purposely hurting him just to see if hangyul really loves him. that was a conscious effort from eunhan outside of the wish) it doesn’t excuse his actions just explains them, but if you literally cannot break out of control from red strings, an altered fate, and a literal evil spirit of salvation that manipulated you as a child, and then years of brain washing, repression, on top of just not being a well adjusted adult and whatever the fuck else……… well. i have mixed feelings about it. HE HAD RUINED HANGYUL’S LIFE BRO but he was a CHILD that didn’t know about the consequences of that stupid wish and he wouldn’t have even BEEN on that mountain if it weren’t for his uncle, who was also a stupid kid. but eunhan had a A CHOICE when he was an adult!!!!!!!!! he could’ve STAYED AWAY. HE COULDVE FIXED IT. he could’ve listened to his uncle and stayed away but we was thinking with dick!!!! like this whole thing is just tragic and the only thing you can truly blame is the spirit. but the spirit is larger than life. this is what it was MADE to do. the characters just happened to fall into its path. that doesn’t mean eunhan isn’t innocent tho. he still hurt hangyul in ways outside of the wish. this is just so fucked up that a relationship is just impossible. but this is BL so………. all eunhan is gna do is cry and grovel hard and they’ll end up together.

unrelated to the plot, but i have thoughts on the sex scenes too and it’s just….. like this is coming from me n im tired of the sex scenes. they don’t ever even FEEL good for some reason. (ohhhh cupid then why are you still reading??? bc this is like driving by a car crash you can’t look away from. also it’s not like this ISNT entertaining. it is!!!!) like ik in a lot of toxic yaoi the sex scenes are still hot but idk. it personally wasn’t hitting for me and i ended up skipping them. also eunhan’s dick is just atrociously ugly to me. if i remove being horny, for nearly all the sex scenes, we were all under the impression that eunhan was using hangyul like a toy and if not that, at least SOME sort of feeling that eunhan didn’t have genuine feelings for hangyul. no wonder why i couldn’t even giggle at the sex scenes. n yeah someone can argue against me when at the end eunhan like OHHHHH i actually AM in love with you!!!!! ive realized my true feelings after emotionally manipulating you, physically hurting you, and being semi controlled by my stupid wish from when i was seven years old!!!! wow!!!!! girl what the hell. ik this is bl and logistics literally fly out the window but i can’t NOT think abt tht part it’s just who i am and then THEY HAVE SEX AGAIN AND HANGYUL CANT EVEN SEE AT FIRST ARE U SERIOUS RIGHT NOW. WE ARE AT SQUARE ONE. and i can’t fucking believe eunhan was in europe just creeping around. you’d think heewon would set up some sort of surveillance in the time that they’re there but idk how powerful his gang is so ig there’s an excuse for that.

i wrote that at like 4am so im probably missing some details or mixed some things up. and ik some people could say this isn’t that serious but like…… this is how i have fun :33333

ur actually so right. this is what i was born 2 do

OH and also heewon and hangyul would be fun IF heewon wasn’t at first using him to get w jooyeon. ik he “likes” him now and genuinely helped him, but like he was still using hangyul in a way. heewon is conscious of the string effecting his feelings towards hangyul so he knows he’s starting to like him. but is that feeling genuine??? like this is all just too messy and tangled up. he doesn’t deserve hangyul OR jooyeon. but heewon is actually my fav character here….. and i don’t want to see him live a miserable life lmfao. he’s still fucked up tho. the only ending i realistically see for him is that he just fades into obscurity and watches both hangyul and jooyeon from a distance to make sure they’re safe or smth.

Deadass I forgot everyone’s names so I had to do some real analysis here BUT we got there and so, yes—spectacular take. I agree. They’re all fucked up except for MC, who is just kinda naive, misfortunate, and has an ingrained psycho magnet. A part of me wishes they can figure this out (they as in Eunhan and Hangyul) but like I said in the comments a few chapters ago, I’m genuinely not sure what voodoo mindfuckery mental gymnastics the author would have to pull to make that shit work—Eunhan is an actual menace. BUUUUT… I can’t help kinda hoping for it. I don’t really like Heewon (tho I wouldn’t be mad if they fucked around a little yk) just cause he doesn’t know what he wants, he’s impulsive, and like you said, he’s kinda just using MC to get to his twink brother. Not really admirable in my opinion but whatever, that’s how toxic yaoi love triangle bullshit goes… but he gets no brownie points from ME, if you know what I’m saying. Idk how it’s gonna pan out but I think both angles are kinda morally irredeemable at this point and we’re just gonna have to see what asspull is gonna save the story LMAO