i could literally write more abt this but im choosing to spare u guys

what a heartbreaking chapter. like everybody else here, i'm so proud of nora for being able to stand his ground, keep his steadiness, and cut to the chase. but it's so sad, however much deserved, to see that detachment, that distance he puts between him and his parents--ex: referring to his father as a diplomat, implying this as more of a business deal than a family dispute--and yet to see so many years of pain still shine through. in these moments, i think of nora's sketchbook filled with views of his father's back. the idolization and longing for a father turned to disillusionment.

and yet, as much as i feel disdain for albrecht and heidi for what they've done to nora, there's a part of me that understands them in this moment. i believe that nora's parents have always loved him. i think that's clear in this chapter, especially where albrecht becomes vulnerable to the point where he can admit that he's afraid of losing his only child. but heidi and albrecht are marred by their own complexes and traumas. albrecht, suffering under a clearly physically (if not also emotionally) abusive father in a rigid household, attempts to give his son a better upbringing, ultimately cannot escape the cycle. heidi, threatened by the oppressive patriarchy of the nuremberg house and steeped in shame over her own weakness, cannot bring herself to protect her son. i think they are aware and regret (at least some of) the pain they have caused him. it makes sense that they wouldn't want him to put his life on the line--out of both political rationality and care for him. to me, nora's parents are among the most interesting in this story for their immense complexity. obviously, none of this excuses their treatment and neglect of nora; it just adds another layer of tragedy to this impossible situation.

with shuri, we see the true sacrifice of a mother. i do think that it was the right choice to shield rachel from a fact that would be so life-altering, and likely damaging to such a young girl. but it doesn't erase the fact that shuri must yet again conceal the truth of what happened to her--must pretend as though all of her pain was nonexistent. her trauma, only just recalled, must be ridiculed as a horrible lie for the sake of innocent ears. i understand jeremy's tears when he listens to this. by now, he knows of the extent of shuri's suffering--maybe not the specifics, but he can see its presence. he is unbearably aware of what she gave up--her childhood and innocence--to be their mother. he is constantly confronted with the fact that as much as he and the children love her and as much as she loves them, she is chained to them, and will not be able to live freely until their familial tie is severed. he listens as shuri protects his sister's innocence when that of her own was not protected. he listens as her bittersweet tears start to fall as she forsakes her truth for love.