Okay I really need a moment to take a deep breath, this is so utterly sad and left me crying multiple times. I wasn't expecting to find this, I usually real BL or Fantasy but this intrigued me for some reason.
This is a heavy story to tell and it breaks my heart to know that it's the authors life story. From the described feelings to the open end, it's very much real which makes it even more heartbreaking. Knowing and seeing that this inner turmoil and trauma will never truly be fixed and the author recognizing that it only takes one step for everything to go downhill again, leaves a bitter taste. There are parts of this that I can relate to and others I can't.
The dialogue between Aiko when she tried to get help and that guy, did something to me, it made me realize how these traps we keep running into are made. It takes only one person to break down another person, all that talk about wanting to feel special, searching for a helping hand, showing vulnerability only to be met with disdain and ridicule. Thinking you have to be fine, not bother people with your problems and essentially shutting yourself off from the world is precisely what creates this cycle of self hatred and suffering. I'm so sad that this happened to the author and that they met such a person....
Words can't describe the impression this left on me. This isn't some tragic masterpiece or a good read for in between, it's just reality and it makes me sad.
If anyone feels as strongly about this as I do and can relate to some parts, even if it doesnt get better, you aren't alone and never will be.
Okay I really need a moment to take a deep breath, this is so utterly sad and left me crying multiple times.
I wasn't expecting to find this, I usually real BL or Fantasy but this intrigued me for some reason.
This is a heavy story to tell and it breaks my heart to know that it's the authors life story.
From the described feelings to the open end, it's very much real which makes it even more heartbreaking.
Knowing and seeing that this inner turmoil and trauma will never truly be fixed and the author recognizing that it only takes one step for everything to go downhill again, leaves a bitter taste.
There are parts of this that I can relate to and others I can't.
The dialogue between Aiko when she tried to get help and that guy, did something to me, it made me realize how these traps we keep running into are made.
It takes only one person to break down another person, all that talk about wanting to feel special, searching for a helping hand, showing vulnerability only to be met with disdain and ridicule.
Thinking you have to be fine, not bother people with your problems and essentially shutting yourself off from the world is precisely what creates this cycle of self hatred and suffering.
I'm so sad that this happened to the author and that they met such a person....
Words can't describe the impression this left on me.
This isn't some tragic masterpiece or a good read for in between, it's just reality and it makes me sad.
If anyone feels as strongly about this as I do and can relate to some parts, even if it doesnt get better, you aren't alone and never will be.