I’m sorry you had to go through that, and finally, someone is agreeing with me here.
Ppl are forgetting the reason why they’re dating in the first place. The bottom literally said that he’ll do what the top wants if it means for him to stay (not verbatim, but the intentions is the same). The top feels that their relationship won’t last much longer because of the bottom. The bottom knows that the top genuinely likes him, but does he (bottom) feel the same? Yes, actions speak louder than words… but not in this situation. It’s not easy talking about the situation and he knows that he if tells the bottom how he’s been feeling, he will think that he’s (bottom ) just saying that to make him stay. Thats why I do believe that top should leave, but I can understand why it’s hard for him to do that.
Exactly! The top is in the worst position. If he leaves, he leaves his only support system and if he stays, he will just never ever know if the bottom actually is being genuine or if it’s just a manipulation tactic to keep him where he is. In this case, actions and words both fail because first impressions dominate both of them. If your first impression of someone is them shoving 52 pickles up their asshole, no amount of words or actions would change what you think of them (extreme example) and this is the same thing. His (Top) first impression is of someone who will do absolutely anything (including the very thing he said he will never do) in order to keep the top around. You don’t just lose that reputation. That shit is stuck with you whether you like it or not.
The way I personally got out of that situation was that I left my support system. I left my “partner” and told them that if they still want me after 6 months apart, they are welcome to come to me and seduce me but in the mean time, I need space to process the high stress I was under and my attachment issues that I got from it. They did eventually come back to me but like a year and 3/4 later and I realised they never changed but if the bottom really does change and put in the effort and goes out of his way to make sure that the top knows that he’s madly in love with him right back, it would work out.
EXACTLYYYY!!
I’m gonna assume that top will eventually leave bottom. Either top leaves on his own accord, or somehow someway bottom tells top to leave. I’m also going to assume that there will be a deadline on when either one (better be bottom) will come back after that deadline. I pray that he cries, goes on his knees even
I can’t wait for the grovel arc. I’ve actually seen quite a few successful yaoi that have assholes reformed through grovelling and actual dedicated care.
if you were in this situation, you wouldn’t say shit either and I know from experience that I didn’t. The bottom never once said he likes him or anything positive. The only reason they are dating is to make sure the top doesn’t go off and live somewhere else and cut contact. That’s it. The top is in love with the bottom but it’s not reciprocated. He can’t say something either way and he’s teetering on the edge and the bottom has the nerve to get pissed but it’s actually the bottom that’s causing all of this shit to begin with. If the bottom just said he likes him and that he wants to be with him because he loves him and not because he’s possessive, that would help. Showing love would help. I agree they need to break up and take a break and then come together and lay it all out but while they are still dancing on this tightrope relationship, they can’t move backwards or forwards and will only continue to hurt each other. Again, speaking from experience. Until you’ve actually been through it, you don’t know how scary it is to be in this position and you’re always on the verge of saying how unfair it is cause that’s all you’re thinking about and when someone pushes you, you blurt out all the things you’ve been saying in your head. Him crying and throwing tantrums is normal. He has no one else to talk to about this so he’s literally stuck in his own thoughts and then when pushed, of course it’ll tumble out. He’s a ticking time bomb. Yes, he could end this relationship himself but right now, he knows that to end the relationship, he needs to pack his life up and move far away and completely cut the bottom out of his life and that’s a massive thing to do. To cut out your only lifeline and the only person you trust? Yall forget he’s an orphan and this is the only person he had from childhood until now. He can’t abandon the one person he’s had. It’s been all up to the bottom from the day the bottom pushed him into this relationship to appease him.