I read this work when I was barely 12 years old, more or less… I was a naive girl who believed in children's stories and happy endings. Back then, I couldn't appreciate the depth and richness of this work. I even remember leaving the reading incomplete because I couldn't understand why Heesu hadn't chosen Taku. Taku seemed to me—and still does—a good man, a gentleman, a perfect lover. I liked the intensity with which he loved until the very end and how he fought for his "love and affection," for his "first love."
From time to time, I remembered this story and felt anger at how it had unfolded, which is why, despite the years, I never dared to read it. Today, at around 20 years old, procrastinating and bored of studying, I felt curious. Curious to see if my 12-year-old self was still right. I just finished rereading the work, and now I can finally see why it's so popular. Now I can say I understand Heesu. Heesu and Jonwoo are two characters who, in my opinion, are destined to suffer. It's enough to just read carefully and realize that it wasn't one person's fault or the other's, but the circumstances. I can't even blame the parents; I understand the prejudices, concerns, and taboos. If we look at it from a third-party perspective, it's very easy to understand Jonwoo and Heesu's fears. They were people under the media spotlight, and it was difficult for them to love freely. Simply because they were gay was reason enough for them not to dare say out loud what they both knew they felt. And to that condition, something as chaotic as being stepbrothers is added. I understand the pressure and emotional burden Heesu carried, his mother's words—the only person he considered "family"—and the feeling of not wanting to be a burden to anyone. I understand Heesu and how he sought in strangers that warmth, love, and acceptance he lacked in his life. I understand Jonwoo, wanting to save and do everything possible to make the person you love feel "happy and comfortable," although often, without meaning to, the things we do with the best intentions end up hurting the person we want to please or protect. In my opinion, these two are made for each other. They love each other with unmatched intensity, know everything about each other, accept each other's ugliest sides, and despite countless fights, they always end up seeking comfort in one another.
I feel sorry for Taku, and I honestly understand the huge crush my 12-year-old self had on that character. And how could you not love him? He was always understanding and gentle with all of Heesu's decisions. He let him go when he knew his love wasn't returned. I think he's a well-constructed character. I understand my past feelings of wanting to blame Heesu for "using and hurting" Taku. But Heesu wasn't at fault for anything; from the beginning, Taku clearly told him to use him to forget Jonwoo. However, it's not Taku's fault for falling in love during their time together, either. I feel sorry for him because he willingly stepped into a tornado.
I really liked the ending; I feel it ended as it should have. You could think that nothing was resolved and that we returned to the beginning of the story, but in reality, countless things were resolved. Finally, the boys can express their love for each other without the initial anxiety and with hope for a better future—together.
I always like to take away something realistic or applicable to daily life from all the stories I read, no matter how childish, fantastical, or fictional they may be. And what I took from here comes from the phrase Heesu said in the last chapters: "You always feel like something is missing when you finish a book, even when the story has a perfectly happy ending. I guess that's how I feel. So, many things will happen, and I have no idea how they'll turn out. But what I'm sure of is that even though I took some wrong turns to get here, this is my final answer."
From these lines, I conclude that we often lack courage and bravery to make decisions—any kind of decision. And even though we show determination to achieve a goal or objective, fear wins us over, and we're left with the desire but never take action. I suppose I take it as a reminder to do things as we want, without caring what others say (I know it's much easier said than done), to live a life without regrets. Sometimes you have to take risks, just like these two took the risk of loving without restrictions despite all the obstacles simply because they knew otherwise they would live with regret forever. Maybe what I took from the story isn't that profound, but it's a nice reminder not to lose our dreams and to keep dreaming.
I guess I took this story way too seriously, and it wasn't that big of a deal, but I liked leaving my "analysis and reflection" in the comments. Lolz.(๑•ㅂ•)و✧
I read this work when I was barely 12 years old, more or less… I was a naive girl who believed in children's stories and happy endings. Back then, I couldn't appreciate the depth and richness of this work. I even remember leaving the reading incomplete because I couldn't understand why Heesu hadn't chosen Taku. Taku seemed to me—and still does—a good man, a gentleman, a perfect lover. I liked the intensity with which he loved until the very end and how he fought for his "love and affection," for his "first love."
From time to time, I remembered this story and felt anger at how it had unfolded, which is why, despite the years, I never dared to read it. Today, at around 20 years old, procrastinating and bored of studying, I felt curious. Curious to see if my 12-year-old self was still right. I just finished rereading the work, and now I can finally see why it's so popular. Now I can say I understand Heesu. Heesu and Jonwoo are two characters who, in my opinion, are destined to suffer. It's enough to just read carefully and realize that it wasn't one person's fault or the other's, but the circumstances. I can't even blame the parents; I understand the prejudices, concerns, and taboos. If we look at it from a third-party perspective, it's very easy to understand Jonwoo and Heesu's fears. They were people under the media spotlight, and it was difficult for them to love freely. Simply because they were gay was reason enough for them not to dare say out loud what they both knew they felt. And to that condition, something as chaotic as being stepbrothers is added. I understand the pressure and emotional burden Heesu carried, his mother's words—the only person he considered "family"—and the feeling of not wanting to be a burden to anyone. I understand Heesu and how he sought in strangers that warmth, love, and acceptance he lacked in his life. I understand Jonwoo, wanting to save and do everything possible to make the person you love feel "happy and comfortable," although often, without meaning to, the things we do with the best intentions end up hurting the person we want to please or protect. In my opinion, these two are made for each other. They love each other with unmatched intensity, know everything about each other, accept each other's ugliest sides, and despite countless fights, they always end up seeking comfort in one another.
I feel sorry for Taku, and I honestly understand the huge crush my 12-year-old self had on that character. And how could you not love him? He was always understanding and gentle with all of Heesu's decisions. He let him go when he knew his love wasn't returned. I think he's a well-constructed character. I understand my past feelings of wanting to blame Heesu for "using and hurting" Taku. But Heesu wasn't at fault for anything; from the beginning, Taku clearly told him to use him to forget Jonwoo. However, it's not Taku's fault for falling in love during their time together, either. I feel sorry for him because he willingly stepped into a tornado.
I really liked the ending; I feel it ended as it should have. You could think that nothing was resolved and that we returned to the beginning of the story, but in reality, countless things were resolved. Finally, the boys can express their love for each other without the initial anxiety and with hope for a better future—together.
I always like to take away something realistic or applicable to daily life from all the stories I read, no matter how childish, fantastical, or fictional they may be. And what I took from here comes from the phrase Heesu said in the last chapters: "You always feel like something is missing when you finish a book, even when the story has a perfectly happy ending. I guess that's how I feel. So, many things will happen, and I have no idea how they'll turn out. But what I'm sure of is that even though I took some wrong turns to get here, this is my final answer."
From these lines, I conclude that we often lack courage and bravery to make decisions—any kind of decision. And even though we show determination to achieve a goal or objective, fear wins us over, and we're left with the desire but never take action. I suppose I take it as a reminder to do things as we want, without caring what others say (I know it's much easier said than done), to live a life without regrets. Sometimes you have to take risks, just like these two took the risk of loving without restrictions despite all the obstacles simply because they knew otherwise they would live with regret forever. Maybe what I took from the story isn't that profound, but it's a nice reminder not to lose our dreams and to keep dreaming.
I guess I took this story way too seriously, and it wasn't that big of a deal, but I liked leaving my "analysis and reflection" in the comments. Lolz.(๑•ㅂ•)و✧