There are so many Asian series where the mom or dad just leaves one day,. They leave because they can’t stand their abusive spouse. But none of them take the child with them.
Sometimes in the series you’ll see how they started a new family. Sometimes the abandoned child will approach them, and that child will be ignored because the parent doesn’t want their new family to know.
All I can think, when I see these situations is, how can these parents look at their new children and not feel absolute shame? If I were them, I would feel such self-loathing every time I saw that new child’s face. I would look at that new child and imagine the child I left behind. How can any parent see themselves as human, when the happiness they have is built on the sacrifice of their own child, that they abandoned to a violent person?
I‘m aware that not all parents are good. I, myself, was taken into protective custody, by the government, on my first birthday, because my biological parents were child abusers. People like that exist, and in numbers that are terrifying.
Seeing this kind of situation in stories feels so strange to me. Unlike in Asia, in the United States child abandonment is a crime. You can’t just leave your child with an abuser. If you do, you will be charged with criminal child neglect. It is considered a form of child abuse.
Criminal child neglect is anytime a child faces bodily harm as a result of a parent neglecting their child. It’s not limited to child abandonment. But it includes child abandonment, because willingly allowing a child to be the victim of violence is wrong.
While I’m glad that America outlaws that kind of behavior, America still has a lot of problems and child abuse. 80 to 90% of children in US foster care are there because they were removed from their parents, for their safety. According to official reports (by the U.S. government), in 2024, there was around 329,000 children in US foster care. The government reports that criminal neglect accounted for removal in 55% of those cases. Physical abuse was cited in about 13% of removals, and sexual abuse in about 4%. Other reasons for child removal in that year include substance abuse by the parents, emotional abuse, housing issues, and parent incapacity.
Not all removal is due to the parents’ fault. Some cases are the result of poverty, or the parent being mentally ill, or the parent being physically incapable of raising their child (such as illness or injury) But when you look at the actual breakdown of why children end up in US foster care, the amount of child abuse going on is disgusting.
If the number of children taken into US faster care for abuse is 80-90% of the total, that would be 263,200 - 296,100 children. Then let’s do speculative math: how many adults living in the United States were child abusers for that number of kids to be abused?
Now, do you wanna know something even more disturbing? Less than 5% of the parents who lose custody of their child, due to child abuse, are ever sentenced to jail for what they did to those kids. In many cases, the parent, losing custody of the child is considered the punishment. Also, nothing stops those parents and having more kids and abusing those kids. My bio mom had two other children, and managed to abuse them for 17 years before she was caught. Guess, she learned how to hide it better from the last time.
There are so many Asian series where the mom or dad just leaves one day,. They leave because they can’t stand their abusive spouse. But none of them take the child with them.
Sometimes in the series you’ll see how they started a new family. Sometimes the abandoned child will approach them, and that child will be ignored because the parent doesn’t want their new family to know.
All I can think, when I see these situations is, how can these parents look at their new children and not feel absolute shame? If I were them, I would feel such self-loathing every time I saw that new child’s face. I would look at that new child and imagine the child I left behind. How can any parent see themselves as human, when the happiness they have is built on the sacrifice of their own child, that they abandoned to a violent person?
I‘m aware that not all parents are good. I, myself, was taken into protective custody, by the government, on my first birthday, because my biological parents were child abusers. People like that exist, and in numbers that are terrifying.
Seeing this kind of situation in stories feels so strange to me. Unlike in Asia, in the United States child abandonment is a crime. You can’t just leave your child with an abuser. If you do, you will be charged with criminal child neglect. It is considered a form of child abuse.
Criminal child neglect is anytime a child faces bodily harm as a result of a parent neglecting their child. It’s not limited to child abandonment. But it includes child abandonment, because willingly allowing a child to be the victim of violence is wrong.
While I’m glad that America outlaws that kind of behavior, America still has a lot of problems and child abuse. 80 to 90% of children in US foster care are there because they were removed from their parents, for their safety. According to official reports (by the U.S. government), in 2024, there was around 329,000 children in US foster care. The government reports that criminal neglect accounted for removal in 55% of those cases. Physical abuse was cited in about 13% of removals, and sexual abuse in about 4%. Other reasons for child removal in that year include substance abuse by the parents, emotional abuse, housing issues, and parent incapacity.
Not all removal is due to the parents’ fault. Some cases are the result of poverty, or the parent being mentally ill, or the parent being physically incapable of raising their child (such as illness or injury) But when you look at the actual breakdown of why children end up in US foster care, the amount of child abuse going on is disgusting.
If the number of children taken into US faster care for abuse is 80-90% of the total, that would be 263,200 - 296,100 children. Then let’s do speculative math: how many adults living in the United States were child abusers for that number of kids to be abused?
Now, do you wanna know something even more disturbing? Less than 5% of the parents who lose custody of their child, due to child abuse, are ever sentenced to jail for what they did to those kids. In many cases, the parent, losing custody of the child is considered the punishment. Also, nothing stops those parents and having more kids and abusing those kids. My bio mom had two other children, and managed to abuse them for 17 years before she was caught. Guess, she learned how to hide it better from the last time.