not bad not good. 6/10. the bottom is a little too childish looking? ig in the context it makes sense. he doesn’t go outside and the top probably tries to immortalize him and make him look pure. still doesn’t make me feel any less weird when reading it though.
in terms of plot it’s a little ehh. i like yandere stories but this one just didn’t hit. the whole water in the hole thing made me queasy, and doesn’t really feel like that affected the plot bc the two characters were more emotionally affected by how he choked him more than literally the enema?? idk.
i guess there’s only so much u can put in a five chapter story. but anyways, decent try
not bad not good. 6/10. the bottom is a little too childish looking? ig in the context it makes sense. he doesn’t go outside and the top probably tries to immortalize him and make him look pure. still doesn’t make me feel any less weird when reading it though.
in terms of plot it’s a little ehh. i like yandere stories but this one just didn’t hit. the whole water in the hole thing made me queasy, and doesn’t really feel like that affected the plot bc the two characters were more emotionally affected by how he choked him more than literally the enema?? idk.
i guess there’s only so much u can put in a five chapter story. but anyways, decent try