alcohol

I love drunk sex, irl I'm such a cold tsundere but when I get drunk I get so bubbly, talkative, cuddly, I can't get enough of physical contact and sex. But I do totally get the frustration of in bl when they're using it to drive the plot/make them get together, that shit grinds my gears too. Like as if there isn't
ANY other way, it's so lazy. But I love the established relationship, they get drunk "oh this is a cute side I haven't seen" kind of trope.

Getting drunk to get the freaky with consent, yes.
Manipulating/forcing someone to get drunk so you can force yourself on them, HELL NO.

Tbh drunk sex is okay IF the person purposely gets drunk to just have confidence and is actually consensual before or after they don't regret it and is actually okay, only times isn't okay is if the other person purposely made them drunk so they have sex or they take the advantage of it.

i think it's very clear when it's there for the sexual tension (mostly if the characters had that tension beforehand so the alcohol just acts as liquid courage) vs when it's there bc the author has no idea how to write a coherent story so has to rely on alcohol as a plot device to get from point A to B (obvious when the characters had no romantic/sexual build up leading to the drunk scene, so them suddenly confessing/hooking up after getting drunk comes out of literally.nowhere)