Aa someone with BPD I relate to Jiho SO MUCH. He fits like all of the DX criteria as well lmao. But feeling like an inherently unworthy of love being that everyone will betray, use or abandon eventually is so real. My first love was also a lot like Yujun, a very kind and noble person. But I ran away from him (left the country) because I felt like I would 'taint' him. Now in retrospect as an older adult I can admit I was being a coward afraid of the possibility of being hurt by a person close to my heart once again. The push-pull dynamic in people with attachment issues comes from past trauma from authority figures in our lives. We crave love yet what we know of it is pain- we can risk it but not too much.
Aa someone with BPD I relate to Jiho SO MUCH. He fits like all of the DX criteria as well lmao.
But feeling like an inherently unworthy of love being that everyone will betray, use or abandon eventually is so real. My first love was also a lot like Yujun, a very kind and noble person. But I ran away from him (left the country) because I felt like I would 'taint' him. Now in retrospect as an older adult I can admit I was being a coward afraid of the possibility of being hurt by a person close to my heart once again. The push-pull dynamic in people with attachment issues comes from past trauma from authority figures in our lives. We crave love yet what we know of it is pain- we can risk it but not too much.