The way you've explained it was beautiful ༼☯﹏☯༽
And yeah you're right it's too damn late for him to realize his feelings.This series clearly transmitted me some depression and anxiety...
Good writeup. I agree with most of it except that I believe in the beginning, Sungho did care for Dohyun's well-being (evidently by how he bathed Dohyun, shaved him, took care of his neck wound, fed him, bought him cigarettes) although it was overshadowed by his hate. It was true that he hurt, threatened to cut Dohyun's arm off, and tried to starve him but in the end, he wavered and didn't follow up with any of it. The rape was the only thing that he never relented because it was on a schedule.
Speaking of schedule, I forgot which chapter but in that chapter Sungho said that he would start doing the same thing to Dohyun what Dohyun did to him in high school. That means all the specifics of their sexual encounters (or rapes if you prefer) up to that chapter (albeit following a schedule) were just whatever Sungho fancied of doing at the time.
I think another thing that has motivated Sungho is internal homophobia. He stated a couple of times that he thought people who felt like this were disgusting, that Dohyun made him the way he was because he wanted to have sex as high schoolers and Sungho didn’t. Therefore, I think Sungho really thought he hated Dohyun for “making him gay” and then breaking up with him, so he kidnapped him and did all the things to Dohyun that Dohyun “forced him to do” as a high schooler.
so i have this conclusion,and i think i just need an affirmation from anyone to tell me am not crazy thinking this lol.cause Sungho's state of mind and feelings are so confusing,i can never make sense of it:/ so here it is....
so Sungho had this obsession with Dohyun and it never went away,he thought that was because he hated Dohyun and needed to take revenge on him and have him acknowledge what he did,in order for him to have peace of mind.
so he kidnaps him,rapes him,treats him harshly,beats him etc.up to this point i dont think Sungho realized he had feelings for Dohyun,he didnt care much about his well being ( he was seriously considering cutting off his arm and he was seriously considering locking him in that dark room and barely feeding him) but little things that Dohyun did or said would still cause a little stir in his heart,but i guess he just didnt delve too deep into it to figure out the reason why.he was mainly focused on his hurt and revenge.
then we see Dohyun stop resisting and playing along during their sexual encounters,and we start to see a little bit of emotion on Sungho's cold face and some kind of reaction (if you go back to the previous rapes before Dohyun starts playing along, you can see Sungho coldly having sex with Dohyun without any sign of emotion or enjoyment,it is as if he is doing it because he has to,in order to fulfill his "rape agenda"
but AFTER Dohyun plays along,the more they have sex,the more you see a reaction out of Sungho,the birthday sex being the one where he seemed to be so much into it.NOW ALTHOUGH he is showing emotion here,I STILL DONT THINK HE REALIZED HE HAD FEELINGS for Dohyun)
so after that,Dohyun tells him "its over" "i wish i never met you" "why didnt you just say no if you didnt like it" and all that ish.Dohyun's words still has so much power over Sungho and it hurts him so he strangles him out of rage and to make him shut up i guess.......you can see then that he instantly regrets it,and all those crazy trains of thoughts start going through his head that contradict each other.
and then the first thing he blurts out to Dohyun when he wakes up is what? "i like you" with a dumbfounded,shocked expression on his face
i dont think this expression was because of Sungho being in shock of what happened,i think it is because HE FINALLY REALIZED HE STILL HAS FEELINGS FOR DOHYUN.AT THAT VERY EXACT MOMENT.
and thats when he starts to act all desperately affectionate towards Dohyun in the later chapters,trying to convey to him this grand realization that came upon him i guess.but too little too late buddy :)
did i analyze Sungho's emotions right? or do you guy think i got it wrong?
anyways RIP to this series V__V