They were fighting again. Things got physical this time. My head hurts from crying so much...

Suicide is probably the snswer June 3, 2018 1:35 am

They were fighting again. Things got physical this time. My head hurts from crying so much. I had a pretty bad panic attack. Sometimes I like to pretend it's not happening right now and reflect on it like my future self is doing it acting like it's a lot farther away than it actually is. This coping method works well for me. I also use yaoi to cope its a great distraction really this is probably why I've developed an unhealthy relationship with it.. Writing this also helps it calms me. I wish I had someone who is could talk to, someone who could understand it all and not judge me. But I guess even if that person did exist I probably wouldn't be able to talk to them about this. I'd stumble on my words and not know what to say. I guess that's what's great about writing nobody is rushing you to get it out and if you make a mistake there's a delete button

Sometimes I wonder to myself, Mom who broke you so much to make you say such nasty word out of your mouth. I know who it is really. My father did this know but I don't understand really. I was only a baby when it all happened after all. Did I contribute to your sadness, I probably did sorry. But aren't you supposed to be the adult why are you projecting your past onto us. You are not always in the right just because you are the mother please learn rhat. You pick pick pick on our faults but always fail to notice yours

Sister I used to feel sadness when I look at you now all I feel is anger. I resent you, I dispise you. You hypocrite you do onto me so
As she does onto you, you scream its unfair yet you don't not see your hypocrisy when you inflect the same pain onto me why?Your both wrong your both stupid

. Why is my family so broken when will I finally be old enough to leave. I could probably leave now but I'm not strong enough to make that decision. You're the only family I've ever known and even though I hate you I can't stand the idea if you hating me back.

Responses
    queenliz June 3, 2018 1:37 am

    life is always worth living.

    Every Straight Guy Can Be Bent June 3, 2018 1:42 am

    Suicide is not the answer...
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    :) June 3, 2018 1:43 am
    Suicide is not the answer...Argentina: +5402234930430Australia: 131114Austria: 017133374Belgium: 106Bosnia & Herzegovina: 080 05 03 05Botswana: 3911270Brazil: 212339191Canada: 5147234000 (Montreal); 1866277... Every Straight Guy Can Be Bent

    Suicide hotlines (๑•ㅂ•)و✧

    Anonymous June 3, 2018 3:25 am

    it's not the answer. please hold on tight and make yourself stronger, but remember, no need to rush it to the point that you are putting pressure on yourself. be stronger than you are now without hurting yourself, alright? you are not worthless. you are important.

    hard pillows June 3, 2018 3:29 am

    You said that writing calms you, so keep on writing your thoughts here or wherever makes you comfortable. Things might be tough now but who knows if it will get better. Whenever you have a hard time, remember that there are people out there who are willing to listen to your problems so let it out :))

    1OvErDoSE01 June 3, 2018 3:41 am

    If it's that serious you probably shouldn't be consulting that here.. I mean, it's good if it helps you relieve stress but you should consult a professional.

    Reika June 3, 2018 3:52 am

    Plz don't suicide,it's not the answer.

    alcoholic June 3, 2018 5:03 am

    *facepalm*

    bloop June 3, 2018 8:06 am

    u have every right to feel tht way about ur family and there is nothing wrong with negative feelings. you mentioned writing and talking helps cope so write. write even if nobody will read it. write for yourself. write until youre sick of it. ive heard that burning/destroying the writing afterwards helps. and if u need to write/talk to someoneb im sure most ppl who have messaged your chat are willing to talk to u!! so hang in there!! youre doing well, and u are not alone.

    Ella June 3, 2018 8:08 am
    Suicide is not the answer...Argentina: +5402234930430Australia: 131114Austria: 017133374Belgium: 106Bosnia & Herzegovina: 080 05 03 05Botswana: 3911270Brazil: 212339191Canada: 5147234000 (Montreal); 1866277... Every Straight Guy Can Be Bent

    THANK YOU