ok hear me out please

Ok so I know this is going to sound annoying and stupid but please hear me out. So after relationships I had with a couple people, I grew the fear of dating someone again. Every time I would date someone, it was if they weren't actually ready for a serious relationship. They always would back out or ghost me if I conveyed that I was seriously in love with them. Now every time someone tells me they have feelings for me, I can't get rid of the fear that they will leave me behind again. To cope with this, I always just want to be their friend instead, because that way, we can always be together and I can be by their side without worrying about anything. I want to get rid of the fear of dating someone but so many failed relationships made me build a wall around me so no one can enter. sorry if this sounds complicated but opinions are more than welcome.