imo it's too late for sungho to be asking to "start over"
I agree with you esp your intepretation on 'start over' by sungho. But i think although sungho kept reasoning to dohyun that he felt 'uncomfortable' with sex doesnt necessarily mean he felt disgusted with it. In recent chapters, the journal he wrote before he committed suicide revealed he actually enjoyed it while indulging dohyun wth those kinky sex. In addition, since dohyun's gone in the raws version, and esp after his parents passing, he couped up in his bedroom and had developed sexual pleasure of masturbation while reminiscing his beloved, dohyun. The only reason why he felt uncomfortable was bc of his reputation as a good student to uphold and obedient son. By having sexual affair with his classmate, let alone a guy, would ruin his image. That's being said, it didnt change the fact that sungho was really obsessed with dohyun and willing to do whatever it takes to have him. His inner conflict of desire and moral slowly taking a toll on his mental well being.
After reading raws, i really pray that dohyun wouldnt run away this time, and back to sungho and try to work it out by seeking therapy for both sides. Clearly whatever shits that happened were just misunderstanding and lack of communication btw them. They still loves each other after all this time. It aint hard to find companion but true love is another story
I think it was more about internalised homophobia, he wrote in diaries that he enjoyed sex.
That's the accurate term. It aint just homophobia internalised by him, any other bad traits such as smoking and skipping classes and whatnot, he was breaking them just for one person who held a special place in his heart. We got the sungho from the past, the criminal sungho and now in chapter 57 as the picture perfect husband as dreamt by dohyun.
Three version of sungho, but imo they are all the same who's the only one who's truly cares and loves dohyun.
Im surprised at the amount of people not understanding sungho's words? I legit read it as him asking that they start all over, aka deal with their issues that began in high school... And dohyun mistaking it as him asking to forget the rapes. Considering how happy they were while dohyun was "in denial", there would have been no reason for sungho to ask to start over. They're already enacting the "start over" that dohyun doesn't want (pretending the rapes didn't happen/acting like their relationship in early hs) so I'm surprised dohyun also mistook sungho's request.
No wonder sungho looks broken.
This might be the only manhwa using the rape trope that I actually like? Bc they both got fucked up in his. Dohyun emotionally manipulated sungho (a product of his need to be loved and yet not healthily knowing how bc of his background). And sungho had no comparison of a good friendship so he believed he needed to provide sexual favor in order to keep dohyun (which imho, dohyun fed into by ignoring him except for when sungho initiated contact). Recent chapters point out dohyun doing this manipulation cognitively, which again is his unhealthy mechanism. The sad thing is dohyun chose the most suseptible person. The conflict of loving dohyun but not (yet) feeling comfortable in the relationship/skinship (and possibly internal homophobia) and then feeling regretful for throwing away their relationship drove sungho insane. I mean the poor boy looked uncomfortable every time they were intimate (while dohyun tried to act distant to make sungho insecure) AND keep in mind he even told dohyun that he isn't comfortable with skinship but for dohyun he's willing to kiss. Both of them dont have healthy coping mechanisms or support. I hope the ending gives us closure about this.
Honestly this might be the only rape trope usage wherein I'm rooting for both people to get mental help and try to work it out. They legit looked like they loved each other until they hit the wall of emotional inexperience/lack of understanding.
Also rip raws. I can't believe the authors took a hiatus at that exact moment. How cruel.