At this point rape and abuse unfortunately define yaoi for the most part. Obviously there's plots that don't romanticize and worship it, but you are really more likely to open up a webtoon or manga at random and that's what you'd expect. With at least 70% of yaoi's catalog consisting of abuse and sexual violence. You're better off with shounen ai, but even then that's not always a guarantee. Not to knock down only yaoi, when rape fantasies are commonplace in romance and sex centered genres across the board. It's just unfortunate that things not being tagged properly or given proper trigger warnings in a game of Russian Roulette you're more than likely going to lose.
all the mangas and manhwas ive been reading lately all have asshole semes or are rapey af and i just really appreciate that i can read this and have a stupid smile on my face bc its neither of those things