I agree. Although I don't condone any of her actions, she is, I think, mentally ill. I am neither a psychiatrist nor a psychologist, but I have dealt with both of them for the past thirty years, having family members with depression and PTSD. Do you immediately forgive everything she did and let her back into a position where she can do it again? No, many times no, but you wish her the best and do what you can to help her heal. Mental illness is like drug addiction. You don't play into their hands and allow them to make you enablers, but if they truly wish to change, you help as much as you can, without making yourself into an enabler, when rehab proves too hard. Tough love is something that is a concept used too frequently in an entirely inappropriate way. The real meaning is that you don't allow the "ill" person to guilt you into becoming an enabler. As soon as they start trying to whip on a guilt trip, you have to hit the stop button.
Is it hard dealing with a family member like that? Hell yes. It takes a quite intelligent person quite a lot of time and effort. A good friend of mine is going through that right now with his father, an alcohol and drug abuser, and pretty much a psychopath, in my opinion (I've never met the man, but have been a confidant of my friend, his sister and his wife). My friend and his sister have spent a good amount of money on therapy. His wife has also gone with them to the therapists, as her parents have told her in no uncertain terms that she and her children are far less important than her younger sister. Every time my friend talks to his father, he tries to bond, but as soon as the father's demands aren't meant, he announces that his children just hate him and they're all on their mother's side.
People with this kind of family have to realise that they are not responsible. It is only when the person with the real problem realises their problem, and wants to really get help that the family can really help to change this ugly dynamic.
bianca is still a bitch tho. that doesn't give her the excuse or pass to be terrible to someone because she's jealous and that she was a great person that everyone loved. grace lost a freaking baby and bianca has the audacity to shout at her like it's her fault that she's not childless and then lie. OMG SOMEONE HOLD ME BACK