Pray for this comment. Finally someone who understands and appreciates this manga. I agree with you a 100%
I actually really strongly disagree with your first point about how we shouldn't criticize Jun. We can absolutely do that and say that Jun was selfish and cowardly and that's completely valid criticism, because its simply true. We can all agree that that is true while still understanding that no one is perfect, that he's still a teen just exploring himself, how he felt, and the mindset that he was in to make those actions. It's then up to every single one of us to decide if the circumstances he was put in in any way excuses his actions. Personally, I don't think it does, but I totally do understand them and can empathize with them, and thus don't hate him. I simply see him as a more complex character, just like most characters in this story were. Other people might feel differently here, but that doesn't make their opinion invalid. It's not only a matter of empathy, but also of your personal moral principles.
You said that there's nothing wrong to "crave" for "normalcy" and I totally agree with that. However, there's a wide difference between simply craving something, and then ACTING on that craving, especially when it hurts a lot of people. That's exactly what Jun did when he went out with Miura. That's also why I find Makato detestful and gross (excluding the fact that he's having sex with a minor and that it's statutory rape.)
Also, your last statement that we can't tell what others should do in a situation if we haven't gone through the exact same experience is just really strange to me? Why shouldn't we be able to judge people for their actions and tell them that they are wrong when they cross our moral principles? This is obvs a more extreme example, but since your statement is pretty vague, its like saying we can't say that the Ted Bundy shouldn't have killed people because we don't know his history and his headspace or what he went through?
Oop lol. My analogy in my last paragraph doesn't actually make that much sense lol. I would replace that with it would be like seeing someone attempting to rape or sexually assault i.e someone, but not calling the police or telling them to stop because we don't know what they've experienced for them to do that? Like I said, lthis is a pretty extreme example, but it still does follow your statement lol.
Do you think we really should criticize a person just because he hid himself out of fear of being judged and maybe abandoned by family, friends and society? Saying that a person is a 'coward' is a very strong judgement in my opinion, and in my opionion as well is too easy to say 'coward' to a person if we are not in their shoes actually. As outsiders is always easy to judge other people's actions.
What I wanna say is that at the end of the day the one who suffered the most is Jun himself (in my opinion a representative of a large part of the lgbt+ community), and no one else. Was he selfish because he tried to date a girl? I don't think so. Was he a coward because he wanted to be 'normal' like everyone else was? I don't think so.
It would be beautiful if in the world there wasn't homophobia and every gay can be himself and can express himself without worrying about what other people say, or withouth worrying about being rejected and beaten up by society. But unfortunately this isn't the reality.
People are different: there are straightforward people who don't care to show their true self and hope that society will accept them, and there are more unsecure people who don't feel like coming out yet -Jun for example. These are both okay, everyone has its own pace and it's not up to us to declare if one is a 'coward' or not, everyone has the right to decide when's the right moment for them to come out. Jun still felt like something in him was missing, and still couldn't totally accept that part of him. By calling him 'coward' you somehow pressure him to follow YOUR own pace, and not HIS. This is why I despise Ono so much: he blurted up what he wanted in front of everyone not considering Jun's feelings, not considering that he wasn't ready yet.
My point is to try to analize this manga and his main character not as a fujoshi, but as a straight girl who tries to understand the anxiety, the fear and the problems that gay people face every day in our society. It's not a matter of moral principles. I understand your example of the rape (and I would say that rape is a crime instead what Jun did wasn't a crime). I would like to give you a better example in my opinion: abortion.
-Are you a girl and have an uterus? -No.
-Then shut up and don't judge.
-Are you a girl and have uterus? -Yes.
-Do you know my backgroud or went trhough what I did? -No.
-Then shut up and don't judge.
This is something extreme as well lol but I find this more fitting our situation: are you gay? If not then you don't have the right to judge. If you are but your situation is different you don't have the right to judge as well.
My previous comment was meant to state that I don't like comments disliking this manga just because they don't understand Jun and don't try to put themselves in his shoes of a teen gay boy, saying he's a stupid, a coward, selfish and so on.
In my opinion this manga is extremely realistic because the reality is not in the BL we are used to read ╮(￣▽￣)╭
Sorry it's a bit long, but ther's no anger or harm in my words lol
Yeah no probs for it being long, mine was super long as well lol. I guess the one thing I still disagree with you on is your statement of not judging if you haven’t been in the same situation and excusing Jun from his actions. If Jun was brave and selfless, he wouldn’t have dated Muira, avoided talking to his friends, and wouldn’t have lied or hurt them. Like I stated previously, no one thinks Jun was a coward because he wanted to be like everyone else, we found him cowardly and selfish because he acted on that emotion and hurt a lot of people around him with that decision. Does that make Jun a bad person? IMO, no. He has his problems and faults, but that’s okay, and even to be expected, since he’s human. But saying that he’s the only victim or that he suffered the most in this situation or that he didn’t do anything wrong and that his actions are completely justifiable is just wrong to me. And that seems to me like what you have been saying? Correct me if I’m wrong here lol.
The reason why I say that moral principles matter a lot here too is because you it depends on how highly you value principles like honesty and your relationships with friends. If you believe that honesty is extremely important, then while you may understand why Jun did what he did, you simply don’t think that in any way still justifies his dishonesty. Similarity, if you believe that loyalty and honesty towards your friends is extremely important, you wouldn’t be able to forgive Jun either.
For your abortion analogy, while I do understand it, I feel that pro-life people will judge you not because they don’t understand that you must have some reason to get an abortion, but that regardless of that situation, getting an abortion is still not okay. This ties back to my point about how it does depend on moral principles and beliefs, because pro life people genuinely believe that a fetus is a living being that holds the same moral value as a grown adult, and thus getting an abortion is the same as murder. It’s not that they can’t understand that you have went through hardship, but it’s that belief idea that murder is never okay, or at least outweighs the 9 months or pregnancy a woman has to go through.
Your statement that you have to be in the exact same situation to judge reminds me of an even more stringent form of identity politics, which is something I already found problematic lol, If that’s the case and you support that, than I guess we’ll just have to agree to disagree here. To provide a less extreme example, let’s say cheating in a relationship? If you hate cheating, than you believe that regardless if a person’s partner was treating them coldly, or if they felt lonely, and etc, cheating is still not acceptable or forgivable. There are of course very extreme cases where they may find cheating justifiable, but they see it as something unforgivable in general. This I feel ties more into moral principles than empathy, because regardless of how you can understand someone, if the person’s actions still completely cross one of your beliefs, than you still see them as a bad person.
Actually what I read in the comment is a hella big of hypocrisy and probably ignorance.
First of all, not in every country being gay is accepted: on the contrary you're an outcast, you get bullied, get beaten up, get sent into hospitals to be cured, you can even risk death penalty in some countries.
If you live in a place that's paradise for gay people I'm happy for you but remember that in other countries it's a living hell for gay people, and they prefer to hide themselves, to run away and to fake an heterosexual life (and this is reality). Jun is just one of them, and I can't blame him: he's just a teenager, he hasn't fully accepted that part of him yet despite he acknowledged it during middle school (to acknowledge something and to accept something are two different things!).
There's nothing wrong to crave for a family and being "normal" since it's the society in which we live that requires it. Jun just feels the pressure and the insecurities of society and this led him to hide himself.
It's too easy to say "when he got problems he won't face it and since he's a dumb bitch he'll run away! His mom didn't even abandoned him! he got friends! His so-called girlfriend was protecting him! Yet he acts like he was the victim" (just an example from the comments) when you are not gay. If you didn't put yourselves in Jun's shoes, or didn't experience the hardships he went through (like almost every gay in this world) please just shut up, because it's not up to you to decide what someone should have done in that particular situation!
Second of all, in the comments I read people who idolize "being a fujoshi" and blame Miura for being a bad one. Let me tell you that being a fujoshi isn't some sort of religion or dogma, we are just fans who like reading those stuff. There's not a good way nor a bad way to be one.
I agree that Miura is a sort of bad influence and is a bit selfish but still she supports Jun and is a good friend, even if she's a bit pushy. I didn't like when she forced him to kiss her in front of everyone but still, everyone commits mistakes, especially when you're in love with someone.
In conclusion, I think that this manga is one of the most realistic BL I have ever read:
in almost every BL manga gay people and couples are easily accepted as if nothing, like in every BL every male character (even side ones) is gay. We are so used to read this sort of paradise-like universe in which they are completely accepted, in which everything is easy, in which there's no sign of trouble (except for their love story), everything is so roses and flowers, it's always perfect.
But this is reality for gay people: there is no such thing like being completely and easily accepted, some of your friends and family may abandon you, you feel anxious and not normal, you feel different, you try to fit in a society that doesn't accept you. It's not easy.
For these reasons I think that this manga depicted reality very well through the protagonist's point of view.