Y’all need to cut Dana some slack!

to be correct, she wouldn't die. Ellin didn't die and she refused the king. all candidates are to become a concubine and given a place to stay in the palace. If you watch historical korean dramas, once you are a concubine you are not allowed to meet your family without the consent of the Emperor and it is forbidden to hurt a concubine because it is considered an offense to the King.

I expected her to at least stand up for herself, ask the king who is smitten with her to punish her father the way she was beaten and make it times ten. And there is a win on sight, she could have refused the king and been sent to a lonely island like Ellin. There is not an A and B option of marry or die, there's option C, D, E, and the list goes on. You're making it as if she was forced at gun point.

You don't know a thing about abuse, do you?

Exactly.

I don’t know if you remember but during the time when Ellin and Dana were talking about who should be selected for queen but Dana told Ellin that if both of them refused and were not seen as worthy suitors for the king then they would be KILLED and then the process would repeat over again until they found a worthy queen. Dana did what she had to do and she really had no choice! In those times women were seen as secondary and she was so shocked with the fact that she saw moon again that she wasn’t even able to talk to the king, let alone share her abuse story with him. Dana did all that she could but in the end I’m glad that she is able to see moon again and I hope that she and him will have a bright future ahead of them.

Um, okay, I am a graduate of psychology with a with a medical degree and a medical license.

I don't even have to flex my credential to explain to you how abuse doesn't play into the facts of Dana is not an invalid. An abuse victim acts normally most of the time, that's why a lot of people don't find out they are abused, even war veteran soldiers with PTSD go about their day normally with either bouts or episodes of their trauma but not for an entire period of 9+ months of catatonia and a sudden clarity of mind after one trigger. Those are not congruent with the symptoms of a severely abused patient.

For reference you can try reading Sadock and Kaplan's book of psychiatry and DSM 5.

Read my reply to your friend and tell me 'exactly' what criteria of abuse are you using to classify Dana's actions.

'dana did all that she could' .... In those 9+ months, tell me what did she do?

Right.

I do wish happiness to Moon though, because he deserves it. But I'm side eyeing Dana because for me she needs to bring something more to the relationship other than being a sob story.

Great. I am surprised you are a psychology student who is so busy gaslighting an abuse victim. Studying abuse and experiencing abuse are very different. That's like thinking studying racism can give you a leverage compared to someone who experience racism. The structure of the society in this story is so vile that woman are called to spend time to be accessed if their worthiness will measure up. Upon failure, they are cast aside and locked in an isolated land. Where is you empathy my dear? You are demanding, upon demanding from people who are living in one of the worst forms of patriarchy available. They are not even allowed to look up at the king. She was abused over and over. SHE GETS TO BE WEAK. She is allowed to cry. She gets away with following the path chosen for her by a terrorist of a father than risk death.
This is my guess and I hope I am wrong. I think your issue with her and many other people in the comments is that she is not receptive of the men she is romantically involved with. I have seen you call her romance with Moon cheating. How is it cheating if you had no choice in the union to begin with. If you were forced by your abusive father to marry someone you do'nt love. She eventually falls in love and you expect saintly behaviour. Again demonising the victim.
You cannot put the romantic feelings of men above of an abused woman in a patriachal society and deman heroism from her. No way.

So if you don't love your husband it's okay to kiss another man?

You need to check in with your moral compass if kissing a man you love but is not your husband considered okay.

Cheating is not demonising an abuse victim because it has nothing to do with your abuse.

It's like saying if Dana experienced racism it's okay to cheat -it has nothing to do with each other.

You are hiding behind Dana's abuse to excuse her poor marital behavior. Kissing another man does not have anything to do with her abuse.

Dana is a horrible wife and people are celebrating her as 'inspiring', 'strong' and/or 'amazing' sets the bar very low for what is truly inspiring, amazing and strong. That's the main issue not her abuse.

P.S. I am not a psychology STUDENT. I have a bachelor's degree in psychology which means I graduated already.

Her main issue is she is living with a tyrant of a father. Choice. Let em ask you something. If today, someone forced you to marry them. You are forced to be in a relationship with someone you didn't choose, was never given the choice and would have your life in danger if you chose otherwise. If you decided to run away, would that be called abandoning your marriage?
On abuse, you should know this since you are a graduate in psychology, is it okay to victim blame? You are blaming Dana for the actions of her father. Not hers. Her father married her off. her father abused her. Her father is responsible for the fear she has grown.
You must know this statistic. Women who are abused by their husbands and boyfriends go back 8-9 times. Why? Are they stupid. They are literally living with someone who could and in many times beat them to death. But even after being in the brink of death, they still go back to these relationships.
You are the psychology graduate. So tell me. Why don't we blame these women? Why don't we say why did you go back? Because we knwo abuse goes beyond being beaten. Abusers are incredibly smart. They manage to manipulate their victims to stay with them. They manage to make sure their victims remain in love with them. They manage to ensure their victims are isolated and can only rely on them. They also make sure the victims see themselves as worthless. You must know all this.
Now Dana's is not a boyfriend. Not someone who she met in her teenage. Its her father. The person who raised her. She has been abused since she was a child. Imagine being broken long before you can develop mental strength.
Incapability and coercion can nullify a contract. Google this. I am not lying. Dana's case is even worse. It is not coercion, it is a threat. To her person. She did not choose the man. I don't support cheating. I abhor it. I have been cheated on. I know how it feels like.
This is not boyfriend/husband situation. This is forced marriage with someone she has no feelings for or else she will be beaten black and blue.
You say she needs to ask to have her father punished. She loves her father. Despite the abuse she loves him. It could be the manipulation or just child loving their parent. Please, don't demonize victims like this.
You are doing the one thing I cant believe. Demonizing victims then tasking them with freeing themselves and others around them in a system they have little to no power. Even Solwah couldn't do much in her situation despite all her mental strength. She was still exiled and hardly received food. This is not a country where those two women can do much. They both made the best of what they could and the best for Dana is her survival.

My apologies for this. On this note, stop victim blaming. Stop putting the responsibility of freeing themselves on victims. Look beyond Moon. If you were forced into a union, by threat, you are not expected to follow the rules. Women in the society have the same burdens you are placing on Dana and we are trying to get out of it. Its even worse when I realize you are blaming her for trying to get out of a marriage she was forced into by a father who beat her black and blue.

First of all, Dana was not beaten when she was younger. That's an inference you made without solid proof in the story.

And no, Dana was not beaten scared because she was able to sneak around to meet Moon and even had sex with him... Do you think a beaten woman who is soooo scared could try and do those things?

Also, when Dana and Moon had sex, her skin is smooth with no marks left from 'CONSTANT ABUSE' that you are referring to. You can't tell me she's constantly abused and magically have clear smooth skin with not even one scar?

Also, I am not victim blaming. You are enabling a cheater.

What does Dana's abuse have to do with her decision to agree to Ellin and consented to the idea that she will get married and become empress? Was her father beating her that time too?

You are making it as if all of Dana's decisions in life stemmed from being an abuse victim. You are crippling an abuse victim to the point where you handle them with kid gloves for mistakes they make that has nothing to do with their abuse.

You are romanticising the situation.

And those are not factual.

Also, if Dana loves her father so much why was it okay for her that the King killed his father then?

She might not have known at first, but for an 'abusive father' as what you are tauting, within those 9+ months do you think Dana won't find out her 'abusive father' isn't checking up on her or making sure she's doing her part? Abuse victims constantly have that anxiety in them, and Dana gave no fucks at all where his 'abusive father' is in those 9+ months..... Either she don't give a fuck about him dying, or she was relieved he's dead.

You kept on hollering about Dana not being able to consent to the marriage when she is not 1) feeble minded during the marriage ceremony 2) held against her will during the months of selection 3) told anyone she didn't want the marriage

You infered all of that non-consent because when Dana met Moon, she suddenly told him "I wanna run away with you" .... You can't use that as her excuse that she never consented to the marriage. Her past actions showed consent, albeit she didn't marry for love, but consent is consent. And you can't twist that by saying she never loved the king and she was abused so she said yes, abuse does not go so far as your claims unless Dana is not of sound mind, and she is of sound mind during the ceremony. She walks, talks, does her everyday tasks with no issue up until the marriage ceremony. Consent given.


Btw, if I haven't said it enough. Dana IS a cheater.

PERIOD

Dana is not a cheater. You still haven’t answered the question what would you do in this situation????? You are abused by your father and even if it isn’t physical abuse it can also be emotional abuse which is just as bad. Don’t put levels on how abuse can affect someone. Dana loved Moon and snuck out to see him because he was the one person who made her feel free in a life filled with constant sadness. Dana didn’t have a choice in marrying the king, it was either death or marriage which would you pick??

Give it up my dear. I have. She sees Dana as evil. Dismisses the effects of abuse on her because of cases of talking. To her, consent is given if you are able to talk and walk. Apparently the father suddenly started abusing her in her teenage and not as a child. She claims I infer but goes ahead to do the same. Their whole talking point involve having Dana as a cheater. In a forced marriage. But because she can talk, she can give consent. I can't keep arguing with this.

He, she or them. My apologies for assuming your gender.

I am not crippling Dana. But you are blaming a victim. Then you are blaming her for her father choices aka forced marriage. We are not going anywhere with this. But I beg you, stop the age shaming.Clearly you seem older and definitely not wiser. If you were, you would stop needing strong female leads even in cases where they don't need to be.
And stop making assumptions on my life. That is where your points falls short.

You give it up sweetie. Dana is not in the wrong in this situation. Again answer the question what would you do in this situation?! You are FORCED to marry someone you don’t love and are ABUSED and it seems like you are belittling the abuse that Dana received. You don’t know how much it affected her or what she went through the text is very gray in that area. However the simple fact of the matter is that Dana didn’t have a choice and she thought moon was dead but now that she knows he’s alive she’s deciding to choose her happiness for once and fight for what she wants and I’m happy for her

'Feeble minded' is that all there is to fear. You don't think someone can be scared without breaking down and displaying mental illness symptoms? What past actions show her consent to the marriage? Are we reading the same story? All we heard is that she is getting married. We saw a guard pull her away when she was talking to moon. You can see control written all over the actions of the father. So how are you saying she had consent? Being of sound mind under threat does not mean consent.
Riddle me this, if someone broke into someone's house, held gun to them and told them to we write their will. Are you saying that if the person giving away all their wealth has given consent if they are not trembling with fear? Has the action been done out of free will or through the control of someone else. Do forced marriages have consent? Do they?