I can relate to these feelings! I'm curious to see what you think when you read further as a person that has also felt these things! Update when you read more?
i finished reading all the current chapters. i really like hooni and the part w/ the suicide book really hit hard considering i did something similar in the past. back when i was at my worst, i would push my close friends away even when they wanted to help. the day before i planned to die, someone i didn’t really talked to, thanked me and simply said “see you tomorrow.” it’s crazy how words that didn’t hold a lot of meaning made me feel wanted and that someone cared about me. it’s kinda similar to how in the earlier chapters, jaehoon said “see you tomorrow” to hooni and hooni got really excited because he believed he made a friend.
another chapter that hit home was the one where hooni tried to stop self harming. as a person who self harmed in the past, i felt like it was portrayed really accurately. i always bottled things up and the only way i knew how to relieve stress was via cutting, so i really related to him. it’s such an addiction too because sometimes i would do it even when i wasn’t even stressed out or anything. it’s strange how much my razor would comfort me honestly and when i lost it, i felt miserable without it. i heavily regret it though because my scars are a constant reminder of my depression and i can’t wear shorts above my knees. so i really wished i stopped sooner.
i’ll probably do a more in depth comment about this in the morning since it’s quite late.
tw; depression?
whenever i first read this, i was worried i was going to relapse (i have a history of s/lf h/rm and s//cidal tendencies) however, this was really comforting to me. i’m on at chapter 24, but i really relate to hooni and how his previous s//cide attempts failed because he couldn’t go through it all the way or because how painful it was.
it’s rlly comforting to see a character like him because a lot characters w/ depression are portrayed as “uwu i c/t myself” or “i’m so sad but cute <3” and it never really mentions the more “uncute” aspects (the depression pit/extremely dirty rooms, not being motivated to wash or take care of yourself properly, the s//cide attempts, etc...)