Personally I don’t believe it toxic and I’m pretty sure anyone would be weirded out seeing there best friend cum on a picture of them and then learning that he would always cum on a picture of him and paint it into the painting along with also having your best friend take your semen just to mix it with his paint. Yes people would think it weird and abnormal. Truthfully I believe there isn’t such a thing as “normal” since normal is A meaning that different for everyone but it’s understandable as to why he would call him abnormal. But hopefully you found a story you like!
Maybe I should slow it down since I'm not sure if you read the first chapter properly...
MC was calling himself "Abnormal" because he likes guys, and calling the straight people "Normal".
MC was calling himself "Abnormal" with a very negative connotation, because he's gay. If that isn't internalized homophobia...
Additionally, when MC saw his bestfriend doing what he did, his first thoughts were it was his fault because, as he said, he's "Abnormal" and his bestfriend became "Abnormal" because of him... got it???
Now let's talk. That isn't toxic, why?
What do I care if MC's bestfriend jacked off on MC's painting and used his cum to paint? I've seen more kinkier stuff, and definitely done some.
What I didn't like was the MC's thoughts, and me thinking that it's the Author's views.
Yeah it not toxic. Lgbt people have been seen as abnormal or weird their whole life so it comes to no surprise when they called themselves abnormal because they heard it throughout their lives either from family members or strangers. Of course that doesn’t make it right but most people grew up with that kind of teaching that they tend to put themselves down because they’re not confident/comfortable with themselves. I forgot what most of the story is about so I’m gonna have to re read it but I don’t believe he have internalized homophobia just because he called himself abnormal.
You seem to be overthinking this story. Also author views? I doubt the author really put much of a meaning with this story. The art is amazing and its have nice chemistry between the two but the plot... is cliché and not something that would wow me. It seem like the author is mostly just trying to write a manga that would attract a lot of readers.
And just because you’re fine with the mc best friend jacking off and cumming on the mc painting doesn’t mean others will be. Most would find it weird perhaps even creepy if they saw their best friend jack off and cum to a painting or picture of them especially if they don’t feel the same way.
I forgot to add this but truthfully it clear as day that the mc have insecurities which is why he called himself abnormal not because he have internalized homophobia.
I think that it's not necessarily he thinks he's "abnormal" for being gay. But for harboring feeling for his best friend. In the brothel he takes pride in the fact that he can make these straight guys fall for him and that they want to keep seeing him because he's so good, in fact he never feels any shame about it. The only time he feels ashamed is because he thinks his best friend only likes him because he has always thought he was beautiful and this pure thing but that isn't how he is. I dunno that's just how I saw it haha
That self-hatred. "Abnormal" and "Normal"??? Really? Yeah, no. I'm dropping this after he said it's his fault because he found out the truth bout his bestfriend. Bye, Felicia! I ain't dealing with this shit again.