warning: long ass comment

this really got me crying all night.

i was diagnosed with lymphoma last year, but i never cried about having an illness. the only time i cried was when the side effects of chemo hurt so much, and when my friends slowly left me after just a few “how are you”. but i got through it because of my mom. not because someone was taking care of me but because someone i love cares for me. it hurts to imagine being alone throughout that scary time.

this story really makes you realize that people who have you at your best don’t compare to those who have you at your worst. in a way, even if zhishu “wasted” so many years of his life dealing with the pain, at least he leaves with no regret, and definitely only with fond memories, with ai ziyu being by his side and only remembering jhang wenxu as he was in the past. while jhang wenxu can only deal with guilt and regret (two emotions that for me hurt the most) for the rest of his life, making everything he built up in the past futile.

and also, i think the jasmine flowers were such a great symbolism, as they mean eternal love. at first, zhishu recieved jasmine flowers from jang wenxu from the uncle’s garden. it symbolizes that wenxu was able to give zhishu eternal love for as long as he is able to, but he wasn’t willing to learn the hardships of growing his own jasmines. in the duration of their relationship, wenxu never put in more effort to keeping that love alive nor reignite it.

on the other hand, ai ziyu cultivated his own jasmine flowers, and when he realized they won’t be ready any time soon, he buys them for zhishu. it shows that ai ziyu was willing to wait to make zhishu to accept his eternal love, although he knows that zhishu will pass away soon. and that, even when he’s faced with hardships, he is willing to put in effort to still make zhishu feel loved.

lmao to those who stayed to read this through, let me hug you after you cried