Please, try going to therapy. It really, really helps. Just ask yourself if you prefer having these issues for the rest of your life or you want to fing peace finally and live as happily as it will be possible with help. And you have your answer. I had so many friends that I send to therapist. For some I was forced to call an ambulance and police as they were suicidal even.. And now my friend is so much more happy.. She was diagnosed and given therapy and some meds as she is bipolar.. Now she seems healthy and happy. Sometimes she has worse moments but she now knows she needs to call and talk about it cause she don't want to hurt herself anymore... Please, maybe just call the therapist. Let it happen and try to free yourself. Lots of love <3
Sorry for what you lived. I hope you have peace in your mind soon.
The book Feeling great by dr david burns works like magic. I strongly suggest you to read.
(This is just a vent and my story I guess) The abuse really made me tear up
I remember the times my mother beating me with a clothe hanger and belt until I passed out from crying to much and was bleeding from the wounds, my mum was mentally ill that time because of all the money problems and had severe anger issues
When she was sent to therapy she couldn’t stop apologizing to me and my brother but I couldn’t just accept the apology for the 5 years of abuse at such a young age
I’m scared of wearing anything other than jeans and jackets because of the scars that didn’t disappear
I’m suffering from PTSD and anxiety
And because of my anxiety i refuse to go to therapy
My mom is still trying to apologize but I still can’t move on from all the abuse of the past