As of the latest chapter 69, Jaek has been really testing my patience. His lack of romance in his very soul is the bane of my existence. He basically proves that he lacks interest on everything other than his career which truly made an impact in his life, yet despite his awkward and cold ways, his compassion (If you can even call it that) towards others and how sensitive he is towards Dan is just undeniable expressing "I adore you". However, because he lacks awareness and he is in denial of his feelings. On top of that, he has zero-to-none experience when it comes to love, which is just frustrating at this point. I do hope we get like an answer as to why he doesn't understand love and why he is so drawn to his career.
clocked his shit omg
I've been reading the comments and honestly it pains me to see that some actually hate on Shiwoo for his actions. He admired the wrong person and was taken advantage of! He was emotionally, psychologically and mentally damage which prompted him to respond the way he did. He felt so dirty that he used the pleasure to escape and forget about his traumatic experience, he was Physically beaten up and was forcefully raped! Men or women that was not right, nor does it mean that both cannot have an aftershock effect from such a disgusting act of cruelty. He had to give up Yujin because he felt so dirty and insecure of himself that he feels as though he doesn't deserve him nor does he deserves happiness...
HONESTLY, IF I WENT THROUGH THE SAME THING SHIWOO DID I WOULD HAVE TAKEN MY OWN LIFE WAY BEFORE HE WANTED TO IN THE SERIES...
IT WAS SO PAINFUL TO READ...
His sleeping around is justified in this story, that's his way of dealing with trauma. Some ppl deal with it by binge on food, hoard items, and some like Shinwoo.. choose sex. Its sad really, to see yourself so lowly to point you don't care who is fucking you. All he wanted was to be loved. A victim's mind set becomes twisted, esp when they continue to be abused by someone they trust. I can't blame Yujin for giving up at parts either...its hard to constantly deal with someone that pushed you away. But Yujin is an angel for trying and succeeding.
This made me remember of Sulli, I wonder if she felt the same, in terms of mental disorder. I mean I know their situation is so different from each other but still, mental disorder is mental disorder. It's still so tough and hard to over come, and it is actually one of the causes of suicidal cases...
I sometimes do wonder if it was so in Jonghyun's case too.. I wonder how much pain they must have suffered before they chose to abandon it all..
I agree with you...
It must have been so hard on them, constantly being judged by people without considering that they too are human being with human emotions and feelings...
It pains me that the left us in such a way but also it relieves me knowing they are in a much better place because here, you get judged unnecessarily...
I just finished watching the live action adaptation and I have to say it was once of the best adaptations that Japan has every put out (for me of course). I also recommend you watch that after reading the manga, the plot and everything stayed true to the original source, its one of those series that made me what to forget it just to rewatch it again.
Regarding the manga itself, this story will forever be one of my favorite BL Mangas. The story is so beautiful but at the same time painful, because it genuinely depicts the pain of first true love as a youth. Ren in the story was so patient and loyal that it was heartbreakingly painful to read, his love towards Kazuma is so raw that he's willing to do everything for him. Even Kazuma is not lacking on affection for Ren either, when he was confronted by the question "didn't you ever question everything?" It broke my heart cuz it wasn't that he never did, he was asking but he could never get an answer from anyone, especially from Ren. His respect towards Ren and how he carefully cares from him was prominent in everything he does for him, like when he could have gotten an idea from Hide, if he truly wanted to he could have asked Hide what happened when he was hospitalized, but he didn't. He could have forced Ren to say it but he never did cuz he respect it.
It's that fact that they both were simply just so happy with each other that they feared touching the subject would break their current situation, especially on Ren's perspective.
I truly recommend this story, if you'll watch the series after you read the manga you would find cute details, it's small but very cute. Like how Ren in the manga is cuter, more open and fruiter like how he wanted to keep Kazuma's documents when he found out he would be working with him. However in the live action he is more subtle and cooler...