Servax

I’m not dismissing your personal experience or anything but I also have the exact same Asian parent who would apologize by gifting gift instead of communicated. When I was little, I use to hate that they never say anything. But when I grew older, I understand that it was a form of communication also and I learn to treasured it instead. They grew up in a cultural were act of kindness and service is the best meaningful way of saying sorry while our generation grew up with verbal communication as a more impactful way of saying sorry.

We grew up thinking it is normal. Thanks to internet, it actually opened my eyes a lot and see, uh, my family is not normal. When i came to realization, i was already into deep and already have emotional detachment in my surroundings and can't form normal bonds to the people i care and used to care about. Apparently for us Asian kids, the only way to cut the cycle and saves us a bit from depression is this awareness. Thank you for being aware. Let's make sure the next generation of Asian kids will not have the same experience

idk not solving the root issue and letting it fester actually places more burden on us. my parents do the exact same thing even after saying and doing traumatising things from childhood and i just feel that this method is asian parents way of trying to avoid responsibility and to not put down their pride. it's more of an act of placating than an apology.

I feel like they also love to use the excuse of receiving the same treatment when they were younger as if that's an acceptable excuse.