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kraizeycherry July 25, 2025 10:21 am

Ehhh I don't think it's /that/ bad, like the problem isn't with the plot beats themselves imo, but the pacing of the story is very rushed so the lack of breathing room leaves an unsatisfying feeling?? I think if we had a few chapters between each major plot beat, it would have made a world’s difference with improving the quality of this story. For example, imagine if the ML confessed he stood in the way of MC healing bc he's got ptsd so then MC goes to the gate and everything is fine, they can spend some chapters discussing their relationship and creating healthier coping mechanisms for the ML, then after several gates, the MC gets hurt, and this proves the ML's fears right but the emotional reaction from the MC now feels properly earned rather than a shoe in.

I also think there’s something to be said that this is the author's first story + it's giving the vibe of being a short one (I doubt it'll be longer than 20 chapters). Will stick around for the art and smut

kraizeycherry July 25, 2025 9:03 am

Gotta love the pillow talk after sex where they're just casually talking about consuming the other / desecrating the body, so romantic /j

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