lux ᶻ's Things

I often wonder if others feel love as intensely as I do, especially because it’s so dramatized on screen, making it hard to truly understand love as a concept in real life.
It’s even more complicated by the fact that, in today’s world, many people seem to be yearning for a relationship not out of love, but because they like someone enough to date or hook up with them. It feels like dating has become more of a necessity than an emotional connection, which makes it even harder to recognize what genuine love really is.

For me, love is wholehearted. I've loved two people in my lifetime, though I've had several crushes. When I'm in love, I become insufferable—absolutely insufferable. I don't even realize it in the first few months; it's like a switch flips, and suddenly, my life’s mission becomes to improve their life. I remember once stopping drawing entirely because my crush was deeply religious and believed that imitating life through art was sinful. At that time, I wasn’t religious at all, but I just stopped. I never questioned why I did it for this random person in my life—I just did, and for a long time too, and as someone who uses art as a crutch that was insane. Looking back, I can now see it was because I was completely head over heels.

Sometimes, I get really possessive, but I’d never show it. It just eats at me inside, and I can’t stop thinking about them. It’s almost like a drug, consuming my thoughts. It’s intense, and it takes over, but I try to keep it to myself. It wont ever affect them, just myself, I just become increasingly helpful to my crush because my love language is acts of service.

Am I insane? Cause I don't seem to see people around me love as strongly as I do.

does anyone have any backup manhwa manga sites? thank you in advance (●'◡'●)ﾉ

i wanna use binders, but i dont have any and i'm very closeted rn. does anyone know how to create a makeshift binder? also, are binders permanent?