beta
!! if you want context for this, go to my homepage and check out my likes, i uploaded a bunch of spoilers on juvel and regis!! (i will post more when i have the chance)
for those who have read my other spoiler topics, this is what happened when juvel was 5/6??. the memories that were erased from her mind.
THIS IS DIRECTLY FROM THE NOVEL
ENJOY READING!!
[ Somehow, I heard a familiar song. I overcame the flood and lifted my eyelids hard.
<Wake up.>
I saw a woman staring at me with a queer face. At that moment, goosebumps sprang up.
'How could that person be here?'
As I pinched my cheek, thinking if I was dreaming, she looked at me with an irritated glance.
<Are you going to stop listening again?>
<Mother?>
At my call, she crunched her eyebrows, looked at me, and opened her mouth.
<Now go back to your room.>
I looked around at the saying that it was my room and was amazed.
'Is this home*? How can I be here?'
(*the one she's talking about here is the one where Viscountess Ronnel lives, her aunt or geraldines mom)
It was when I was looking around in surprise. Soon a person familiar with sight came in, and I happily tried to call him.
<Ah, eup!>
But before long, my mouth was shut and I couldn't make any noise.
<Don't say anything. Not yet, okay?>
At that, I nodded carefully. Then she lifted her hand and gently stroked my head.
<You're good.>
I laughed heartily at her compliment in an awkward tone. Before long, when Daddy was not visible, she got up. Then she held my hand and said.
<I will take you to the room.>
At that, I nodded softly. Before long she said quietly.
<Keep in mind. The man running around at night is not your dad. So, don't ignore me and stay next to me.>
'No, it was definitely my dad.'
That was when I was wondering. She grabbed my hand.
<Let's go.>
'Mom is quite tall, no, am I getting smaller?'
As a result, there was a unique feeling of a child with small hands and voice.
<Duchess, did you cough?>
And Mrs., Mrs. Perez's young face. It was only then that I realized that I had returned to the past.
*** (OTHER STUFF HAPPENS IN BETWEEN THESE BREAKS BUT IM ONLY ADDING THE PARTS OF HER LOST MEMORIES)
<Juvel.>
I stared at my dad at the sound of calling me. A very handsome man with silver hair and blue eyes. It was a perfect formative beauty that could not be imagined that there would be a face that resembled it.
'No matter how I look, it's my Dad, but why does my mother do that?'
However, my mother's reaction caught my heart, so I kept looking at my Daddy. Then Dad sighed and took the hand he had in his pocket. I was nervous to see his fists clenched.
'What?'
I was staring at the hand with tension, but before long, my Dad's palm opened and my eyes lit up.
'It's stick candy!'
It was a lollipop that I couldn't see when I was growing up, but I was drooling as soon as I saw it, although I may be a child now. Dad looking at me took off the packaging and handed it to me.
<Okay, I want to get it.>
I took the candy and put it in my mouth. I became happy when the sweet taste came into my mouth, which I had been tense for all the time.
'Ah, it's delicious.'
Dad naturally hugged me and smiled gently. Then he wiped my mouth with his sleeves and said.
<My princess, did you like the candy taste so much?>
I tilted my head looking at my dad.
'Well, it sure sounds a little weird for Daddy.'
***
'Surely eating sweets makes me feel good.'
It was when I was sitting on my Dad's lap munching on candy.
<Lord.>
Mrs. Perez spoke with a serious face, bowing her head to my Daddy.
<Your wife was with the young lady again today.>
At those words, Dad said, stiffening his face.
<Go back.>
As Mrs. Perez stepped back, my Dad looked at me step by step. In time he sighed with a complex face.
<Fuha.>
I sighed the same way and followed the action, and my dad smiled and patted my head with a big hand. When I was smiling because of the good touch, my Daddy said in a slightly bitter voice.
<Juvel, your mom is sick. So you have to give her a rest.>
<Where is it painful?>
<Heart.>
<Why is her heart?>
Daddy answered my question with a darkened face.
<Because your Daddy is a bad person, he have done a lot of wrong things with your mother.>
I was only six years old and I couldn't understand the words. However, 'I' , who has been looking at my Dad for a long time, can see that his face is similar to that of sometimes avoiding my gaze.
'What happened with my mother?'
Then, I stroked my dad's head. Then I smiled softly and said.
<No, Daddy's nice.>
Then Dad opened his eyes wide as if surprised. And 'I' was also surprised by my boldness when I was young, so I was deceived.
'Patting my Dad's head, what the hell did I do? Was I really like that?'
But there was a word out of my mouth that was different from 'my' will.
<So she'll forgive you, too. I've been listening to her lately, so she smiles a lot.>
My Daddy looked at me with trembling eyes and answered bitterly.
<I just want your mother to be healthy again.>
At the words, I stared at my father.
'You look gloomy.'
Then I committed another sudden act.
<Do you want this?>
'No, what if I told you to eat the candy with saliva?'
When I was embarrassed by that nonsense, I remembered what I was thinking.
'It's a shame, but it's not a waste because I'm giving it to my dad.'
I think I was trying to cheer him up by giving him the best thing I had at the time.
'But it's not a matter of courtesy to give what you're eating.'
"I" was ashamed of my behavior that was deviating from common sense. Soon after Juvel, Dad shook his head at the candy.
<Thank you, Daddy doesn't like sweets very much. So you can eat my share.>
A euphemistic refusal, but the young child smiled and put the candy in her mouth, as if she was happy that she didn't have to give it to him. Then I began to crunch the candy and chew it. My Daddy looked at me with surprise and spoke quietly.
<It must be... Really delicious.>
I hugged my dad and whispered in his ear, for if he had noticed a little.
<Do you trust me, Dad?>
Dad slowly turned his head off at my words, and I hugged him and said...
<My mom will be healthy for sure! So don't be sad, okay?>
Soon I, a young girl who knows nothing of the circumstances of her elders, will give him the best I can. When I patted my Daddy on the back with my small hand, he answered in a dark voice.
<Yes, she will be.>
***
I guess it wasn't a lie to say that I was playing on a horse. Because I was sitting on my dad's shoulder just now.
<Hahahaha!>
Originally, if it was 'I', it was a situation that I couldn't handle because I was embarrassed, but as a child I laughed calmly at what was so fun.
<Lord, the refreshments are ready.>
Soon, as my dad put me down in front of the table, I was eating a cake with a fork and staring at him and asked.
<Daddy, does the prince really live in the Imperial Palace?>
<Yes.>
<Is he tall? Riding a white horse?>
<No, but why are you asking about the prince?>
When asked with an uncomfortable face, I replied without hesitation.
<I am going to marry him.>
Even I dropped a fork to see if my Dad was embarrassed by the sudden words.
<Daddy, I dropped it.>
As I pointed my finger at Dad's fork and said, he sighed and gestured to me. I understood it and climbed onto my Dad's lap.
<Why did you think of marrying such a budding yellow kid, no, the prince?>
Then I replied as if it were natural.
<That's because I am a princess!>
Everyone has a dark history, but I'm the only one watching this from a first-person perspective. As I was feeling shame, I heard my dad's voice full of disappointment.
<You said you were going to marry me...>
The original 'me' would have had a pupil earthquake, but the young I laughed, kissed my dad's cheek, and whispered in his ear.
<Then, I'll marry my dad too!>
To send a public check that I can't even keep... Young me was really unusual. At that time, Derek entered the parlor.
<Lordd, a messenger came from the Imperial Palace.>
At that, my dad put me down and ordered Derek with a firm face.
<I'll be coming soon, so I'll take care of Juvelian.>
I wanted to hold my Dad's hand and tell him not to go. But I had to look at the back of my dad as he left the room holding me in his arms.
***
After my Dad was called to the Imperial Palace, the young I was sitting in the room without power.
'When will Dad come?'
As it was now, the emperor seemed to push my Daddy back at this time. And I drew a sulky and ugly monster on the paper as if I knew it as a child. There was a crown on the monster's head. It was when I was sitting on the floor scribbling on paper.
<What are you doing here?>
My Daddy's voice was so bright that I crept towards the door. It was then.
<Regis, you must be right today.>
Unlike usual, I could hear my Mommy's voice of relief. Then my Daddy sighed and said calmly.
<Amelia, go back to your room and sleep.>
When she was asked to go back to her room, she asked in a voice of astonishment.
<What?>
<I told you. Until your symptoms get better...>
At that moment, my Mom's voice dropped sharply.
<I'm not crazy! Why don't you believe me?>
Then came Dad's voice, which came out in a soothing soft tone.
<Amelia, that's not what I meant. You know...>
But my mom screamed because she was feverish.
<No, I don't know. And don't you remember what happened before? Say I'm crazy. It's your fault!>
Soon Dad answered in a desperate voice.
<I'm really sorry. Even if you hate me, I understand...>
<What do you understand? You were indifferent to me. Do you know what I was feeling because of you who didn't come to see my newborn baby?>
<I said there was a situation.>
<So what is the situation?>
Dad opened his mouth while indulging.
<I can't say that. But I promise you this. My wife is you, my successor is Juvelian...>
At that moment,'jjaak' I heard a sound. I was surprised by the sound, looked out the door, and flinched. Mom's palms were dyed red, and dad's cheeks were turned.
<Why can't you tell me? Am I even your wife? Your words say my daughter is the successor, but who knows? You'll pass it all over to a boy born from another woman!>
<Amelia, I swear I will never...!>
<Don't you ever come near my daughter! You are the one who is dangerous to the child now, Regis!>
At that, Dad sighed and replied.
<We both seem to be overly excited, so let's talk next time. Let's take a break today.>
<No, I won't go until you're gone. If you're going to go, go with her!>
At my Mom's voice, I went into the closet and crouched. Soon after I was young, I thought.
'When will Mom and Dad make up? I wish we could get along.'
And 'I,' who knew the answer, was filled with bitterness.
* * *
How many days have passed since mom and dad fought? My mom sneaked up on me and told me.
<Shall we play hide-and-seek?>
I stared at my Mommy, who suggested to play hide-and-seek.
'Why are we trying to hide and seek?'
Looking back and looking back, I was able to find out a few things I didn't know. The most surprising of all was that my depressed Mom hit me and left me when I was younger. Perhaps that's why she had a tendency to bother me until now.
However, the strange thing was that these days, she tries to be next to me as if she is obsessed with me at night.
<Why?>
The little one asked me naively, and my Mommy answered calmly.
<Because I want to play at that time. So if I tell you to hide, you have to hide. All right?>
The voice of someone telling her daughter to play was dry. But still, I guess I loved her. Seeing that the interest she gave me was so good. I hugged my Mom and said, nodding my head.
<Yes! I'll listen to my mom very well!>
She looked at me with trembling eyes and bit her lips. Then she muttered straightly.
<Never come out until I say I found you. Okay?>
There was a faint mixture of crying in her voice. 'I' stared at her with my young gaze. Contrary to what I thought, her eyes were clear and straight.
'Why are you so obsessed with me?'
Suddenly I wanted to understand her.
***
When my dad didn't come home for a few days, my mom didn't want my attention and didn't come out of her room. And the one who took care of me was my family's vassal, my maternal uncle and aunt.
<Hah, to say that Amelia is still suffering from such a ridiculous delusion, is she taking medicine?>
Mrs. Perez replied with a face saying that she was reluctant to ask.
<Yes.>
<Do not forget, make sure to give her medicine at night. It's a big deal if she do crap again.>
It was when I was paying attention to the serious appearance that wasn't like my Aunt who always showed only pleasant appearances. When I made eye contact, she made Mrs. Perez go away and smiled brightly.
<My little girl, we should go to bed early, so we get taller. If you go to bed late, you will stop there.>
At the words of my aunt, I pouted my mouth.
<Don't lie. Dean* sleeps early, but he's not very tall!>
(*Geraldine's nickname, before I made it as Din but Dean is more eye-pleasing)
Suddenly he pulled in himself, and I saw Geraldine in fit of rage.
<Hey, my height is average among my peers. And when I grow up, I'll be bigger!>
<But you're smaller than Todd.>
Geraldine said with blush when I mentioned Todd, who was a trainee at the time.
<You, you! You'll never get married if you choose such mean words!>
I answered with my tongue sticking out.
<It's okay, I'm not going to get married and live with my dad! Dean can't get married later if he's so short and weak.>
Then Geraldine cried and said to my Aunt.
<Mother, Juvelian is not getting married!>
In time, my aunt laughed and said.
<Pft, hahahaha! I told you last time that cousins cannot marry under imperial law! Yah, you just got dumped!>
After all, she really looked like my aunt. And Geraldine was soon mad about whether he was even more hurt by her look.
<Mother, I hate you! Boohoohoo*.>
(*he's crying loudly, okay?)
I looked at him patheticly for a while, and when I realized something, I sighed.
'Oh, my God, I'm Geraldine's first love.'
It was when we were thinking that it would be better to forget because it would only be a dark past for each other.
<I'll put our crybaby to sleep, so take the little girl to her room.>
At my aunt's instructions, the maid held my hand and said...
<Come with me, lady.>
When I arrived at my room, the maid dressed me up for my pajamas.
<Is Daddy not coming again today?>
The maid answered my question with a smile.
<I said he'd come either today or tomorrow, so he'll be here soon.>
<Okay.>
The maid said, putting a nightcap on my head.
<Don't worry and have sweet dreams, lady.>
<Yes, good night, Becky.>
So I lay in bed and tried to fall asleep. But strangely, I couldn't sleep.
'It's too dark.'
Then, I heard a faint voice.
<Hide tight.>
It was my Mommy's voice. I hurriedly hid myself in the closet. Soon after, I could hear footsteps, and I looked through the door of the slightly opened closet and watched who was coming in.
'Oh? It's Daddy!'
I reflexively opened the closet door and flinched as I tried to run out.
'No, I promised to be quiet until my mom said I found me.'
Before long, Dad came slowly in front of my bed. Little I was looking at my dad's face, holding back laughter. But 'I' couldn't laugh.
'That expression is the same as that day.'
During the hunting competition, my dad was staring at the bed where I was sleeping with those eyes that felt a weird sense of foreignness.
'Is the emperor...?'
It was when 'I' had such doubts.
<Don't move!>
A woman with a cracked voice and messy hair shouted, pointing her sword at my father.
<Who the hell are you?>
Unlike her trembling voice, her eyes were clear that day. I guffed my saliva as I watched the two in confrontation. My dad, who had been in such a state before, treated me with emotionlessness like a robot and felt confused for a moment.
'How will you react this time?'
It was the time I was watching my parents. Dad opened his mouth.
<Where are you?>
His voice was like a robot to the point where I got goosebumps. Instead of answering, she only pushed the sword end further towards the neck of my father.
<For now, get out of my daughter's room.>
Dad opened his mouth staring at my Mom with a blank stare without any disturbance.
<Where did you hide my "dearest person?">
At him, my Mom shouted.
<Regis! Please, come back to me! Can you hear me?>
There was a faint cry in my mother's voice. It was then. Dad's hand shined blue.
Quazzik!
There wasn't even a small scratch on my Daddy's hand, who crushed the blade with his bare hands. The moment my Mom opened her eyes, Dad pulled her hand that held the sword and held her.
<Let me go!>
Mom shuddered and tried to shake her hand, but Dad opened his mouth as he stared at her with his eyes still feeling nothing.
<I asked where she was.>
The terrified mother and the unfamiliar father were more frightening than when they were fighting.
'Please come and stop them!'
However, no one of the employees was coming here, perhaps because they got used to the arguments of my parents.
'It can't be like this.'
The young I, who wanted my mom and dad to get along well, couldn't overcome the urge and ran out of the closet.
<Daddy, stop it. Huh?>
I thought that if I stopped my dad, it would come back to the original state. But my dad just stared at me with an expressionless face. It was when my dad was thinking about why. Only the tail of his mouth rose slightly on my expressionless dad's face.
<Found.>
I'm sure I've always seen my dad, but I was scared of the face that looked like he was wearing a mask. At that moment, my mother, who turned pale in daylight, screamed and called me.
<Jubelian! No! Run for it!>
I couldn't take it off without realizing it. Dad grabbed my collar and lifted it up as if he were grabbing something.
<Daddy, it hurts!>
I cried and struggled, but my dad just muttered, staring at me with eerie eyes.
<According to the command, a precious being...>
I was afraid of that appearance, so I called him with tears.
<Daddy!>
At that moment, Dad stared at me, distorting his forehead.
<Juvel... Lian?>
It was when I read the confusion in those eyes.
Kwajangchang!
The vase that hit my Daddy's head broke with a loud noise. There was bleeding from my head, but my dad's change was just a little loosening his hand holding my clothes. But my mom didn't miss the gap and ran at him and pulled me out.
<Go ahead!>
At the moment, the young I was overwhelmed by vague fear and left without hesitation. Despite the uproar, none of the employees have come forward. In a way, it was natural. It was common for the Duke couple to raise their voices in the house. I was terrified when I didn't see anyone to help.
'How come there's no one here?'
Then I saw two people standing in their employee's clothes and talking.
<Who shall we do?>
<Well, anyway, we'll be standing by and we'll get rid of the duke.>
Soon after they found me, they closed their mouths. Theie eyes were very cold, but I couldn't have noticed it. Because in my little head, I only saw my mom and dad fighting.
<Daddy's fighting with mommy. Come on, stop him!>
They nodded their heads and laughed in a friendly way at what I said with tears.
<You wait here quietly. Got it? >
***
How long would you have waited for them to believe? I was worried and couldn't stand it.
'You're not fighting by now, right?'
It was her who was terrifying to me at times, but she was still my mother. I was hoping she would reconcile with my dad as soon as possible.
'Yes, it will be okay if I secretly look at them.'
When I went back to their room, what I saw in my eyes was red.
<Juvel...Lian...>
They were two bodies in the clothes of a soldier, a bleeding and fallen mother, and a father standing with a bloody sword. When I was scared, my Mommy reached out and called me.
<Baby.>
Her appearance and this situation were scary, so I burst into tears. She stared at me and said...
<Forget it.>
Soon she closed her eyes helplessly.
<Mommy, Mommy!>
I called her, but the answer didn't come back. At that time, I saw my bloody dad wailing and crying. A child who heard a roar like a beast thought that my dad was scared. And whether this reality was overwhelming, I felt my body lose strength.
'Yes, this would be a nightmare.'
Then, I saw my Daddy's face through my closing eyes.
<Jubel!>
Soon I closed my eyes, and the "my" ceremony was also darkened.
***
When I opened my eyes again, I was on my bed.
'Am I back?'
I looked around because I wanted to return to the original world, and for a while, my small body moved regardless of my will.
'It's still the past.'
Realizing that, I watched my young behavior again. I was looking back and forth in my room looking for the blood that I saw that day.
'None.'
Smiling wide in relief, I immediately ran to my Mom's room.
<Mommy!>
In the spacious room, however, Mrs. Perez, dressed in black and silver, stood in tears instead of her mother.
<Oh, lady. When did you wake up?>
Soon she reached out her hand to me and said...
<Let's say good-bye to your mother.>
I didn't even know what it meant to say goodbye, but when I heard that I could meet my mother, I followed her. Soon, when we arrived at the temple in our territory, we saw familiar people gathered. And as soon as they saw me, they showed signs of embarrassment.
<Where's my mom?>
My question hardened everyone's face. I felt strange and headed to the place where there were so many boxes of white lilies. When I saw my Mommy surrounded by flowers there, I was puzzled.
<Why are you sleeping here?>
As a child, I reached out to my Mom and was appalled by the cold sensation. Come to think of it, the weather was pretty chilly.
'I'm going to catch a cold.'
I hurried to take off my coat and put it on my Mom's body. It was then.
<Who brought Juvelian?>
A frightening cold voice hardened my body. As I turned my head, I saw my Dad's face crumpled. The glare on his face, which had become rickety, was similar to the lifeless look I had seen in a bloody dream.
<Ahhhh! No!>
Unknowingly screaming, Dad tried to approach me with a look of embarrassment.
<Jubel...!>
But the image overlapped with my Dad in the terrible nightmare who was holding the bloody sword. I began to struggle with fear.
<Don't come, I'm scared!>
How many seizures did I have? My Dad, who looked at me with a pale face, turned around.
<I'm sorry.>
I've lost my mind again after a game. ]
after that she woke up and that's when her and regis talk and it's a very emotional scene *CRIES* this was super long LMAO (〜￣△￣)〜