Natsuki

I am hurt, I hope to forget this story soon.

I appreciate the way Asil is able to meditate about his mental state, and recognize that he is getting abused, that he is becoming numb and used to the cage he was put by Valery. This is not a romance story, this is a psychological thriller written with a pink pastel and a lot of porn. I am glad Asil is a relatable character. He is so hurt, it takes so little to make him happy yknow? But Valery won’t even try to worry about him. He just needs him all for himself, possessive obsession, as he is not in love. If he was in love, he would make him happy yknow. If he really loves, and this is his way to show, then he does love too little. Reading this story made me very sad, the porn felt good at the beginning because it seemed things were going to get fixed soon, becoming an unconventional sloppy romance story, but… no. It only got worse. What’s the ending I want now? Asil ends himself. It would be the perfect climax for this whole twisted cursed story. I once read a story about a guy who ends himself to escape his rapist and kidnapper. It was satisfying… there was no other way to run away, it was tragic, unfair, but he could finally gain control of his life again, by ending it all because of his own decision… this might seem useless, but I think it is the most courageous sign of freedom one could look for in a story like that. It’s sad that some people can strip us of our rights as nothing. Asil ending up with Valery for life is too upsetting, unless Valery changes and starts to worry about Asil’s mental health I don’t want it to happen. Valery is a terrible human being. He is proud, narcissistic, egoistic, abusive, a rapist and so more. It is fiction, I get it, but us reading it, forgiving him and approving of this story is very much real… the empathy you lack for Asil is a problem of yours, not a “fiction/reality thing”…
There is always something real in fiction, and I’m glad Asil is not disappointing, not treating the whole deal superficially. I really love him, and I hope the best for him. He is broken, maybe he can’t be fixed anymore but I wish him the best.

I see people complaining about this type of plot, but as for me I can say I find it interesting, starting from the seme; the seme is very different from the usual toxic gangsters in webtoons. I don’t know if I’m the only one, but I think this: he has toxic behaviour, yes, but he also acts as if he is an hopeless romantic, as if he fell in love at first sight. In the first chapters he tried to do everything for the uke, in the new chapters instead he is revealing that is behaviour can be affected by his lifestyle as a mafia boss as well. It’s sad that he thinks he can do that to our poor uke, but I can’t really scold seme, it’s the corruption in his life that made him corrupted. He is a mafia boss, he can’t be a good person… We knew from chapter one what this was going to be seeing seme in blood. :( Anyway, his character is funny but also toxic.. I hope he comes to regret stuff, as in the kneeling part. I want seme to be in his good side, not to hurt the cutie. And even if this happens, I hope seme can really redeem himself by proving how much regrets haunt him… but even so, IT WOULD BE BETTER IF HE STOPPED RIGHT BEFORE HURTING HIM! Show him you like him for real man! Don’t let it all be only lust… please… please…

Extra:

Also the uke, the cutie. the situation he is in, it’s far different from the webtoons i’ve been reading. He is really a fun guy. I hope he can achieve his revenge and be happy… （/TДT)/