Laila

chapter 28 and 29 are the same, I think someone published something wrong... ╥﹏╥

This chapter left me in tears. I know that being a vet is not only about happy moments when you save a life, but also those when you have to let the animal go. But it reminded me of the day when I had to say goodbye to my beloved dog and when the vets lied to me, saying that it would be a routine checkup before a possible surgery. I was supposed to come with my mother and the dog to the clinic for a visit, and they were supposed to take her blood for tests, and they announced that the dog had to be put down - without any tests. From the beginning, they did not want to start the treatment, but we found out about it later. I went with the hope of saving my dog, and in a very merciless way, without a shadow of empathy, I was told that I would have to say goodbye to her right then and there. No vet had even mentioned it at the previous visit. I was not prepared. To this day, the guilt of going there with her, of her sitting there wagging and happy, and never leaving the office, kills me. If someone had said something earlier, I would have prepared myself emotionally, given her all the best treats, taken her blanket, a toy so she wouldn't feel lonely when we were thrown out of the office. (My mother agreed with the vet after a hard decision). But I will never come to terms with the guilt of deceiving my dog by telling him everything would be fine, and they killed her. I can't call it anything else. What's worse, I feel like I betrayed her and killed her with my own hands. No one even tried to comfort me, I didn't take it well. And what's worse, my mother had a heart attack some time ago, so this situation wasn't the best for her either. I know that a vet can't approach every case emotionally, so as not to go crazy, but you can always deliver such news in a different way, behave like a human being. I didn't even have a chance to see my dog again. The worst thing is that as soon as we left the office, we were immediately taken to the cash register to pay for our dog to be put down. I thought my mother would faint there. I wouldn't wish that on anyone. It was 9 years ago, and it feels like yesterday.
This is the first time I'm sharing this with others. I haven't been able to do this before, and anonymity helps. Maybe now it will be a little easier for me...