beta
Set aside the characters for a second, this feels like a very forced scenario. It doesn’t fit the character and his personality. I feel like MC is made dumber than how most people would be. It super contradict his initial motive (that he loves his boyfriend a lot) that’s why this read feels uneasy. And he isn’t incapable of thinking. So why is everything he says and does so weirdly not matching his mental capability. He can think deeply but a simple action and words out of complete ignorance still occurred and there was not inner awareness until mentioned. It feels very dismissive, but we also know he isn’t the type to be like that. Else that can make this uneasy is how a supposedly likeable character is just made unlikable, not out of the fault of the character itself because he isn’t set out to be shit, but out of this weird situation and his thoughtless actions that makes no sense. Despite being 5 chapters I got nothing substantial out of it but the dread of a bystander looking in to a struggling relationship THAT SHOULDN’T BE IF THE MC FUNCTIONED THE WAY THEY SHOULD.