sillymao's Things

Have you guys ever been so icked out by someone in media that you genuinely couldn't finish it I'm not talking just a simple annoyed, pissed, stupid guy, I'm talking abt sm you found so collectively awful you just genuinely had to pause every scene they come up in and then you might have even quit the media bc of it
cos wow I always thought people were exaggerating when they say that but I watched a trash spanish romance film and I can't even bear to see his face on the screen

just curious, do any of you play the game? Coz I'm literally obsessed with it right now, I love me a depressed sassy corporate twink with a snatched waist (were they being sarcastic when they said he had a dad bod in the game??)
Oh and who are u guys tryna romance, I was so confused when I saw 1% helped Invisigal out but 66% chose the movies with her

Basically they ran up behind me and scared me and was like giggling, then my other friend asked 'would U date (my name) if she was a guy' and my crush said 'no way we're too similar'

Do I just kms like

less than 24 hrs after I post that question too the world is giving me a sign but I actually still have hope she said it out of defense and if I confess it could still work out, but I'm actually also horrified how she wasn't smiling when she said it and kinda backed off ARGHHHHHHHH

Guys I have a fat crush on this person and they're a very close friend to me, we have all the same niche interests and we get along really well too! They're seriously cute in my eyes and there's been several moments where I felt they almost gave reciprocating energy, for example:
- got shy over saying our 'ship name' randomly
- got shy once when a friend joked about them having me to themselves
- calls me cute (could be in a platonic manner but they also don't really call our other friends cute....!!)
We even used to fake 'date' like 5yrs back but then we stopped being friends for a while till 3 yrs ago so we both did move on from it (the crush began 5 yrs ago, fizzled out for natural reasons, reignited last year). dk if that's very relevant (she made a face once when I told her recently some people thought we actually dated so idk if that's worrying uhh, she's quite unwilling to talk abt our fake dating thing in general too )

BUT here's the thing
I don't know if I wanna risk our friendship because we leave school soon and we've made promises to travel together to a country together eventually because they love (insert region)'s culture and I'm from there. I'm scared if I do and they don't reciprocate then things will end up awkward and I've genuinely never met someone with so many similar interests as me and someone who's really soft-spoken with me too, like they're really nice to me
:((((

this part might be more worrisome...
they OFTEN talk about wanting to get into a relationship in front of me it's very much part of their everyday vocab and I really don't know if that's sth u'd say in front of sth u'd be open to dating (me). AND I don't know about us lasting long-term because don't get me wrong there's clearly a reason why I'm crushing on them because they treat me well, but there's also moments where they can feel distant from me, and they have traits that I can see possibly irritating me IF we got into a relationship

If I'm being brutally honest I want to confess to just see if they have ever reciprocated my feelings, it's quite selfish but I also just want to see if we COULD last long-term, I don't currently envision us lasting too long though....
I don't know if I'm being pessimistic or optimistic to be thinking this far ahead lmao, given they could just reject me LMAO

IF I do confess I'd wait till we finish all our formal assessments and ask them out over the summer break, we're both not in the best position to be thinking abt dating rn imo given school and stuff.

LET ME KNOW YOUR THOUGHTS am I the one not giving myself a chance with them by thinking so badly of the outcome already here or am I just tryna be realistic I feel like I sound really cold through this question but I swear I have the most sweetest fantasies in my head of me confessing successfully like

I gotta add there's defo times I probs annoy her and carry annoying traits so I'm not idolising myself in this relationship or sum

I've tried several times now with this site but I can never pass their security check question for some reason? I turned off my adblocker and don't have a vpn, and I know I answer their question right bc it's like 'whats japanese comics called' or sum to just make sure u rnt a robot. And then when I try a backup email, it says I've alr made an account with it, i do have a memory of being successful a few yrs back, but I can't see the security check for their 'forgot password'. What's up with this, how am i supposed to use their site.

I've already tried on microsoft edge to try and switch browsers but it's the same issue