Memento_mori's Topics (10)

I feel that lmao

same ╥﹏╥

I know his name

I don't think it was intended that way though. He wasn't condoning the actions and he did tell her he could give her the information for a place to go about it. What he did was try to get to the root of the problem. Obviously the hitting is not okay at all and needs to be dealt with in the husband and wife's relationship. The wife though also needs to realize that she is giving off a strong impression that she's interested in other men and work on that. It was basically him telling her that if she wanted her relationship she needed to go and talk it out and if she was ready to walk away he'd give her the information for some place that would help her. I've been in an abusive relationship before and I ended the relationship because I won't allow myself to be treated that way. Some relationships can be saved with communication and often times counseling but it takes both people to work through it and get to the root of the abuse. Really what else could he have done since he hadn't even seen her in a decade? He offered what he could but his priority isn't her. She's just someone from his past.

Well they did say that hitting another woman is inexcusable and that if she ever decided to leave her ex they would help her get the help she needed. I kind of agree with them though. My mother had an exboyfriend who had anger problems (don't get me wrong I hated the guy) he never hit her and if he did I would demand that she prosecute, but his insane jealousy was mainly her fault. She was the one who was always all touchy feely with other men blaming it on her Brazilian upbringing (i was raised there too ok? There are no you MUST be uncomfortably close with other men rules) and she would stay out till 2 in the morning sometimes with her friends, sometimes at clubs, never being very trustworthy. Even I didn't trust her. I didn't like the dude, but one of the main reasons it ended as bad as it did was because she chose to live that way. I don't think shibuya deserved what happened to her, but she is choosing to stay with this man and be all misleading like. I think they did the right thing.

"Victim blaming" implies or states explicitly that the victim "deserved" the violence inflicted upon them as some sort of punishment. What was portrayed here was the expectation that the victim take responsibility for their actions that led to their predicament. The perpetrator is still responsible for the violence because it was their action. However, that does not preclude the victim from having responsibility for their own actions as well. Thus, there is a big difference between "Victim blaming" and expecting someone to take responsibility for their own actions. In this story, the girl is responsible for causing a misunderstanding between herself and her husband, but the husband is responsible for allowing that misunderstanding to devolve into violence.

you literally described victim blaming lmfao: implying that the victim has any blame at all for what happened to them

Someone does not know the difference between being at fault and taking responsibility for ones actions. Sad. Do they no longer teach this in school?

No they really didn't. It was stated in the manga and by the people in the comments that the hitting was not okay in any way and all the fault on that is completely on the husband. What everyone else is pointing out is that she did things that she knew angered her husband and instead of leaving him outright or making him apologize and actually talking she ran to yet another man instead of dealing with things. It's no one else's job to fix her mistakes. The people in the manga offered to give her information for where she could go if she didn't want to go back to her husband since she was hit but they are not obligated to do more. There is a saying and it's a sad one but it's true, 'No one is going to save you, you have to save yourself.' People can offer all the help in the world but if someone doesn't take their advice or get help then they bring things on themselves. There is a woman in one of the groups I'm in on facebook. She talks about how emotionally and mentally abusive and neglectful her husband is. She rants about how he denies her sleep, friends, hardly anything she wants yet after being given resource after resource and offered more help than you can imagine she doesn't leave him. She has people that offered her safe places to stay, help getting a job, money to help with any travel, a number of other things. She chooses not to leave him and by doing that she chooses to allow the abuse to happen.

Well said. The person on Facebook is responsible for her situation remaining the same. Her husband is no less of an abuser because of this fact. She has failed to take responsibility for herself and expects the husband to change the situation when she is just as capable of changing it by leaving. I am confused and appalled by the latest trend to be a victim of *everything*. Bad things happen to everyone, but to be, and remain, a victim of those things does nothing to strengthen a person's character. The trend lately, is one of viewing a victim as a hero simply for being a victim rather than for overcoming the adversity of being a victim. A step has been omitted.

I was raped when I was 15. The person who raped me is responsible for his actions and was held accountable for them. However, there are things that I did that allowed him the opportunity he had. For that, I am responsible. I walked into an alley with a person that I knew very little about. I failed to notice, or ignored out of a sense of pride or enjoyment of attention, the way he leered at me. I am in no way, "at fault" for my rape. That is all his doing. However, I am responsible for allowing the opportunity to arise and be so easy for him to accomplish his vile task. By taking responsibility, I acknowledge and refuse to repeat past mistakes. I don't blame myself, but I'll be damned if I'd let it happen again.

If you no one liked it....they wouldn't be here.