Eukaryote

THE GOAT, THE GOAT IS BACK MY QUEEN

Idk why but i really relate to this main character so much. I feel like he’s so I guess apart from his feelings, from his body. I feel like for children like us who were abused psychologically or physically we make personality’s for ourselves instead of what we actually are because or at least for me the real self is more despicable, more ugly than what normal society can take. As we get older these personality’s become us, and we feel utterly disconnected from our emotions and life. It’s kinda like playing doll house but having no idea you’re playing it. I struggle day to day to think about me physically being here instead of actually realizing I’m alive and things are happening to me.. not the doll. I see it a lot in this character because he has a forgetful memory (yes I know he has tumors) but I believe it’s because of how disconnected he is from himself and the realization that he is going to die forces him to become the doll. His true self is just someone who wants to run away, who needs comfort, and someone is obviously internalized. I find it really interesting as it is explored and I fear many will see it as bad writing from the author but you have to live it to understand it I guess.