Nosequeponer's Things

How do you stop the thought of wanting to die?
I think I joke and think about my own death so much; and it just feels like I've lived enough
Sure, I still wanna do some things, but idk
I wake up and think about dying, sometimes I joke about how if I don't do this one thing, I'm gonna kms
It's not like an urge, but more of a constant thought
Even I'm tired of thinking that, so, how do I stop my dumbass fucking brain from having that thought

Does anyone here has experience applying for universities in China, bc I am having problems w the whole fees thing and I'm gonna kms/j pls someone from this site help me

So, I hate dreaming, even when I was little my dreams were so vivid and real that sometimes I'd be confused on whether something happened irl or was it just a dream of mine
People have told me that sometimes I even talk while dreaming
And now the problem is that, even though my dreams are so fucking weird and vivid, when I wake up I feel like, disoriented, like a part of me it's still on that dream and another is awake, and I just feel so weird about it when I wake up bc I need some time to get back to reality?
I've also been digging my nails into my palm unconsciously while sleeping, and ofc when I wake up it hurts
Idk what to do
Is there any way I can just, stop dreaming at all???

Ik it's probably depression hitting me again, but there's something about my cat that makes me cry every time I look at her for a long time
It's not even the thought of her dying, sometimes I just look at her while I hear her little yawns, and little noises she makes when she stretches her body, her purrs and breathing sounds, and I think "she's so cute" and I start tearing up
She's js so beautiful, I'm even crying rn
Does anyone have a similar experience w their pets?

Should I die my hair blue or purple?
Rn my hair is bleached in a white-yellowish color w black roots ;3