artsie

Very long dump incoming.

Question: Someone (Person named X) hurt you and it put you in a really bad place. Like, such a bad place you don't even wanna talk to anyone. Such a bad place you can't even think of anything good in your life.

Someone else (Person B) comes to exact revenge for you. A person you have never met before in your life.

You're in such a bad shape that you could care less what they do and you're like 'yeah sure whatever'. However, B becomes close to you. So close, in fact, that you can see yourself getting better just by being with them.

Now, if honestly this person was exacting revenge 'for' you... wouldn't your opinion on said revenge be the most important thing??

Now for my own thoughts:

I absolutely love this story. and I will love this particular story for a long time because the characters just make it worthwhile.

The wholesome moments, the sugary fruit fly moments, the angst, the politics; It all pops off and I love it all. Most importantly, what takes the cake is the way the characters are written.

Character's can be amazing, but be written poorly. Amazingly, that isn't what is done here and I love it. Very rarely can you flip and rip a story apart section by section and still understand where two opposing characters are coming (especially when these two characters are close to eachother and have been for a good while.)

Like someone recalled here in the comments, Hestia herself was suicidal at the end of her second life (when she first entered the book). She's tired, she's depressed and most importantly, she's furious at none other than Diana for two main reasons (though many can argue that it's just one).

First, she's furious with how Diana treated Kaleus and secondly she's furious with how much Diana changed - because she was no more a saint for the people but instead for nobility. Ney! She was a saint for the King and her husband alone.

Now, as we can see from the start, Kaleus does not care about anything in his life. You can argue that he still loved and cared for Diana, but truly if he did and still humoured someone(Hestia) claiming to want revenge on her (a revenge she never specified the goal of btw. She says she wants Diana to feel what he felt but for all he knows she could mean she wants Diana to end up suicidal too)- that's an odd way to show love.

So when Hestia comes in, he doesn't care. It's basically him going "yeah, sure. Whatever, just do what you want so I can go back to mope." But that eventually changes because he gets interested in none other than Hestia herself. Not her revenge plan, not even what she has in store for Diana, but about her. Heck even when she first reveals that she might die (she isn't sure) after a year Kaleus is more worried about that than Diana. He is more worried about a possible future wellbeing of a woman he legit just met a few days ago, versus a woman who he loved for maybe months.

I may be recalling incorrectly, but not once has Kaleus expressed joy in Hestia's revenge small successes except one specifically which was when she got his land back from the temple. He literally says iirc "I can't help but feel happy". We don't hear this after anything else she does. He admires her will and passion and what have you, but he doesn't say anything positive about the revenge except for that.

(I can argue that he only cares this one time because he was getting something of his back but I have very little evidence to stand on this claim.)

I can, however, with 85% confidence say and argue that Kaleus stopped giving a positive damn about Diana a long loooong time ago. My guy just didn't care.

But he is most definitely gonna care if someone who, not only has he come to love, but she in turn claims to adore him so much- so much so that she is willing to drag Diana, the literal crown princess, to the mud in his name; yet doesn't care for his opinion on it.

Say what you want, but you can't claim something is revenge when the person you are fighting for, doesn't care. That's not even a case of someone being spineless or not. Like I said, Kaleus stopped caring quite a while ago. He was still hurt, yes. But that doesn't mean it's because he cares for Diana still. Emotions are never that black and white.

Hestia just hates Diana because she was the cause of her Bias dying. Like many hardcore stans/ fans for characters (even from beyond novels) would be to read and see such situations. However, she is framing it as revenge. And I am whole heartedly of the opinion that she's doing this because she's trying to cope with the fact that 'SHE'S STILL IN A BLOODY BOOK'. SNSJAKAKAK

She isn't saying it as frequently because she herself is fighting against her own downward spiraling. It doesn't change the fact that she still sees herself as an outsider. That idea of hers has been there from the beginning till now. Spoiler for the next paragraph.
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If the manhua is still following the novel as they have been, we'll get to see that Hestia ( in the next chapter or two), till this very moment still thinks of herself as an outsider in the book. Despite how much Kaleus claims to love her, she still believes he's bound by the book to love Diana regardless.

The problem is that neither of them are seeing each other as it is, nor are they seeing themselves in the context their partner does.

Kaleus:
He isn't fully understanding just how far Hestia is willing to take this because he doesn't understand just how bad her state of mind is. And you can't even blame him because Hestia isn't being fully honest with him nor herself.

He is simply a man who was deeply hurt once, but now wants to live a peaceful life with this woman he has fallen in love with. Key word being peaceful, because being partially responsible for bringing down the crown princess will be anything but!

Not only that, he is not able to understand nor even comprehend how deeply the result of his failed relationship affected Hestia. After all, he tried many many times to kill himself before eventually succeeding. Yet again, I can't blame him. In this life he only tried once and that was a catastrophic fail thanks to Hestia.

Does he know of his other attempts? No.

Does he know Hestia who adored him for many years was there to hear / read about and witness two of them? No!


Hestia:
She is desperately clinging unto the idea that she is living her third life as a chance to get back at Diana for what happened between her and Kaleus- her bias.

Has this been a notion that was proven to her in some sort of way? No!

But what else could she cling to while being stuck in a book?

Kaleus proclamation that he loves her?
Nah, he loved Diana so much that he was willing to kill others for her. Not to mention he attempted many times (and eventually succeeded) to kill himself when the feelings were not reciprocated.

How could someone like that ever love her truly?

How could someone like that ever move on?

Hestia is refusing to understand the very possible and likely notion that Kaleus genuinely could not be bothered to deal with Diana and the troubles that scam saintess tows in with her. And because of that, she's still insisting that the revenge is FOR Kaleus.

AND THAT'S THE BIGGEST ISSUE!
She claims it's for him.
He says he doesn't want it nor does he care, TWICE!

AND SHE STILL SAYS IT'S FOR HIM!

I fr love these characters, ugh. There angst and morales are so well written.

I know that this chapter is supposed to read as humorous but I can not help but feel extremely annoyed with FL.


First off before anyone starts to defend her in whatever i say, this is just how i feel about this chapter and her in this very specifc chapter and not an attack on the book.

I find it hard to believe that the FL or anyone in their right sense will let someone into their room on several occasions for what I'm assuming has being going on for weeks and not know;
A) their name
B) their occupation.

So now instead of this to be funny i find it annoying in this specific scene. If he was an abandoned man and homeless mercenary as she assumes why not wonder how in the world he got into the party, danced with you and wasn't questioned. I don't think being your father's disciple would make him free of questioning if he really as hopeless as she thinks.

Not to mention she's already noticing that her father's personality is deviating a little from the book, how can you NOT wonder who the heck the disciple is i just-

Maybe when i cool down and read it again it will be more fun but right now I'm just annoyed as hell
(⊙…⊙ ╬ )

Edit:
And another thing i want point out, why in heaven's name is she so stuck in the belief that he's a mercenary? Because you met him in a shop?
By that very logic he has the right to assume you're just a random noble who has an interest in armour polish if not for the fact that he already knows you're father i just- GIRL, GET A SENSE OF REASONING I BEG YOU.