beta
if you feel the same way you probably went through something awfully abusive too, i had this mindset for a long time when i experienced hurtful trauma from my parents, this is power, i can hurt you as much as you did to me too, i am your child and also your downfall, and then you fuel the rage until you can because without your hatred you don't know who you are, if you forgive them it's like you don't love yourself, your rage is your friend, it protects you.