Misiu's Things

i started reading and watching yaoi mangas/manhwas/webtoons when i was like, 14? and back then i did not really mind this whole dynamic of the uke acting like he does not want to get railed by the seme, who obviously did not give a shit about any "no's" and "pls dont's". i mean, my first webtoon was Killing Stalking after devouring Junjou Romantica. i was all for this dynamic ngl, as most of us are.
i dropped reading smut altogether for a couple of years, only watching stuff like Yuri on Ice, Given, Banana Fish - shounen ai where this whole consent-shit was pretty easy to establish.
now i'm 24 and starting to dabble in some manhwas/webtoons again and all i noticed is that stuff like Jinx or Hounds of Sisyphus still has me kicking my feet, but this whole lowkey (more like highkey) rapey stuff rubs me the wrong way. i'm struggling to find stuff to read that does not have this dynamic as their main trope, especially since i actually like those nasty toxic dynamics

am i too soft? too woke? lmao is it me? am i the drama? i dont think i'm the drama. maybe i am?