beta
This chapter is so heartbreaking!! Ughhh it was amazing to see Heesuh opening up, learning to be more emotionally mature, and enjoying his life in the last few chapters. But deep down he’s still sooooooo repressed. Social norms and homophobia are so ingrained in him that he can’t even *imagine* a version of the world where people choose what makes them happy instead of what’s expected of them. It’s horribly sad.
Heesuh seems really blunt and straightforward but he’s actually incredibly bottled up. He still hasn’t figured out that he spent his whole young life trying to get Jinmoo to notice him (he stole Jinmoo’s girlfriends to try to get his attention and kept doing it when he couldn’t get a reaction). It’s so devastating that Heesuh doesn’t believe in personal happiness because he’s been trained to do what’s “right” (be straight) and aim for status and success.
They are each other’s first love and only Jinmoo has the guts to genuinely pursue it.