beta
uhhhh the time spent on understanding and potentially defending abuser's point of view/motivations was really not it for me
like i get that some people are interested in that kind of psychology, the same way people watch true crime stories, and whatever but like. it wasn't just one page or even one storyline it was multiple, a repeating storyline of "he abused me because" or worse "he wouldn't have abused me if"
no. nope. noooope.
the mindset of an abuser doesn't matter anyone but a researcher (sure as fuck not the victim) bc it ultimately boils down to "i wanted to"
whatever the catalyst does. not. matter. bc there's always a hundred million other people suffering that trauma or that rage or that insecurity and they *chose* to hurt someone else when faced with those emotions and situations that are very common. it's their own goddamned fault no matter what.
this didn't even feel like a romance storyline by the time I DNF'd at shibuya's reappearance and we had yet another defending abusers conversation
pity bc this had potential but it aged like spoiled milk