beta
Spoilers ahead: it's going to be lengthy.
It all began about 4-5 years back, tbh I always struggled with it. Interacting with people, I grew up alone ( my fam were all always away, so there was no one watching over me, I got used to it and well I hardly talked with anyone as a child so maybe that's also why?) However although I did struggle interacting with people, I could do well in taking leaderships over things, giving speeches in public, being a part of the student council, taking part in school activities where I had to interact with people were that much of a big deal.
But the issue started to get worse over time, like mentioned about 4-5 years back. Now even interactions with my family members, forget the others is hard for me. Idk why but I get depressed, I feel left out, like I'm the problem, out of place even to just talk with my family. Well it's not everyone luckily, I have a best friends and so far he's the only one with whom I got no issues. I have another best friend, but now I feel the same when I talk with her too, that feel of sadness being left out n everything.
Just starting a conversation or meeting up with people makes me really sad, I feel like crying, I feel unwanted and out of place. Tomorrow I'm going for a family gathering and guess what? I'm already depressed about that, I want to meet them but at the same time I don't want to. I really don't like feeling this way but I just can't help it, and at the end of the day, I can't even share how I feel with anyone because if I do I'll get all sad n stuff.