you're raised in a particular environment - one restricting your freedom yet one you feel obligatory gratitude towards, because you know your life couldve been "so much more worse". you're used as a political pawn, arranged into a marriage with a toxic, abusive, psychotic partner.
suddenly you no longer need to marry him anymore - the enemy prince has brutally claimed you, should you feel thankful? disgusted? scared? surely there are worse things that could happen, and hey, this is only temporary! the mark will eventually be removed... and it'll be back to resigning to your fate as a political pawn.
you know that freedom is unattainable in this life, there's no use fighting.
suddenly you're overcome with a sense of care and affection for this captive that had forced himself upon you. you don't know why but you care for him, is it caused by the mark? everyone - the doctors have said so. surely this is just the influence of the mark. even so, you don't want them to kill that pitiful man.
your forced companionship with the captive is coming to an end. even though its only been two months, you're conflicted by the affection and gratitude you feel for this man. he saved you, protected you. even though you know it must have been from the mark, you can't help but crave the thought of genuine love and kindness. almost as if it tastes like that freedom that you've been wishing for since your life began.
all of a sudden you hear that your brother has decided to kill that man, and the child growing in your womb that you were entirely oblivious to. a child born between enemy nations, conceived only because of your father once again using you as a political pawn... and yet now being aborted, by the brother you so trusted, under the guise of 'preserving your happiness'. you don't want your precious child to be used and put through suffering like you were.
war rages on the land that raised you. it's conflicting, this is where you were raised, where you lived with the brother that doted on you. with the man you called father. this place is all you've ever known. this was your whole world. sure, it suffocated you, but for so long, you have been attached to it. been dependent on it.
but perhaps this is your chance at freedom. perhaps you can finally reach it, despite still being caged within the bounds of this kingdom. but the universe is too cruel. that man that waged war on your kingdom, who you thought you had reluctantly bid farewell to, has come to take you back. why will no one leave you alone? will no one let you be free? can you ever be really free?
worse yet, that child, your child, they're still alive. life could be so cruel.
yet again confined within walls, you pretend this is a freedom you had wished for. hey, you're receiving that affection and kindness that you had longed for from this man you bonded with! yet you know, still, this is all false, it's all a lie. these feelings are not genuine, they stem from the bond.
that's why you won't fall any further. you don't want to be caged once again, by a life of false freedom.
and yet, this child, your child, half your blood and half the enemy's, how could you live knowing how others will perceive them? how can you live alongside them, knowing you can't protect them? you couldn't bear to witness that. in order for your child to live a happy life... a free life, no one must know who birthed them. even though it pains you to do so. but you would do anything for your child.
so you make that man promise you, promise, that the child will be protected. that even in death you will be set free. you can only hope he will grant your wishes -- trust that the love and compassion he has shown you in these past few months was genuine.
but when you wake up, those you have known all your life, they are gone. your brother is suffering, and yet you can do nothing about it. you knew just as much as anyone that your brother was a flawed being, and yet in all your cruel life he was the closest thing to pure love you had. that man you bonded with is now king, and yet the generations of hatred festering in his subjects deny him the ability to help you in protecting the only family member you have left. your only kin.
but wait your child, your child is your kin too. but you cannot bear to see him, else you will no longer be able to leave. and surely, sooner or later, the people will find out about you and connect the dots. your child's happiness would be threatened if you stayed here any longer.
that man even confessed his love to you, but you don't believe it. he's the enemy. the enemy that has hated your blood for generations. its surely the mark. how could one fall in love in this kind of situation? it must not be real.
nothing is real. you want to get away. away from it all, hide yourself away from the world, seclude yourself along with the little family you have left. protect the little peace you have. surely, that man can grant this much?
then maybe, just maybe, this piercing guilt, this smothering apathy, it will all go away once you leave. maybe it will all have just been one big nightmare.
Ive always been an uke/shou defender no matter what but this is the first time i want to slap one so hard at how irresponsible and selfish he's been acting.
Just because what you think is best for others doesn't make you a good person. It's a masked selfishness and that he insists in running away from his mate and child, a sickly one at that, knowing he will hurt them is so narrow minded and he only thinks for himself, despite him making excuses and validating his desires as whats best for the people around him. And you have the guts to say your alpha has "selfish desires". Fckig bullshit????
Idc if you think he deserves freedom because he's been shackled and used as pawn for years. Abandoning your child and even abandoning your mate who is willing to give you everything and has even respected all your decisions(if that's not what you called actual freedom) is so stupid and cruel.
The most stupidest character I've ever met. Im so angry, the last time i was this mad was against Rashta. God i fucking hate him as i kept reading. Fucking suffer more then, i hope he realizes everything in the end that he's fucking stupid.
This is one of the rare stories where I love the slow burn. But it’s pretty annoying that all people want is to see them fuck. Like pls, if you want smut, go to the hundreds on the main page. This focuses on the relationship development.
And let me just say, as someone who finished the novel, the main mystery arc is over and we are finally moving onto the romance arc. This is the part where they give the sweetness after the long slow burn. People complaining about the backstory and wanting smut scenes need to go goon elsewhere. This backstory is giving insight into their relationship and how it’s really fated in a way. It shows how their actions towards each other from back in high school where they hardly interacted, made a big choice in their future (current life). It also gives context to things that will happen later on. Like heechan’s past with his dad coming back later.
Oh and to give context of what’s happening now, I don’t think ML was in love or liked MC back in high school. I saw some people say “ML liked him all along.” That basically defeated the purpose of slow burn and ML showing he fell for MC in the entire mystery arc. This backstory shows that they both were aware of each other. ML was intrigued and entertained by MC, but that was as far as it went. He didn’t fall for MC until they reunited years later.
Kinda SPOILERS:
-
-
-
-
-
To give a tiny bit more info on what I was saying above, ML does help MC out but then he just moves on with his life and is ready to move out of the country. He actually gets mad at something MC said (it was something that influenced him). And then didn’t see MC again, basically forgetting about him over the years. And of course he returns with the cold personality we all know in the beginning. It’s interesting to see how he was more smiley and chill as a kid, but got all cold as an adult. It was likely due to the incident with his injury and pink hair.
Anyways they do have a relationship where they’re down BADDD for each other. I will warn some readers though: ML is not a green forest. That SHOULD have been expected given his suspicious background being all rich and powerful, pulling the strings and making others back down so easily the entire plot. He knows how to plots stuff. (Not psycho territory though, since I saw someone spoil incomplete/inaccurate novel spoilers). Overall he does treat heechan well and heechan is pretty head over heels for him.
For those of y’all praising the story. Just because an ML eventually stops wanting to hurt the MC does not make it a good story. Bro contracted him, lied so he could do him and planned to drop him/have him gang banged at the start by his employees. Dude changed his tune, SA’d him and then threatened to have the group SA MC if he didn’t behave. Then continuously SA’d and physically harmed MC until magically, he didn’t wanna do that anymore. (No amount of trauma warrants what he did to the MC)
MC stuck around, because of his hostage mother, then because he somehow loves ML even after being abused. The stress was so bad that it managed to cause him to no longer be a scentless omega. (He tried to leave another time but his pregnancy didn’t allow him to stray far from the ML.)
The MC lying about praying for him and trying to get documents to save his mother wasn’t good but it also wasn’t bad. People do desperate things when trying to survive. I understand being angry about getting scammed but ML took it too far and took forever to drop it. Especially since he never let MC explain why, it’s not until way later he finds out, purely from having his men find info.
Does ML eventually realize he needs to treat MC better? Yes. Do they wind up trying to resolve their problems? Somewhat. Does that make the story AMAZING? SPECTACULAR? An UTTER MASTERPIECE?? No, absolutely not. It just makes it one of many main stream, toxic BL stories that workout in the end because the author said so. Stop calling this a masterpiece, it’s generic. It’s toxic, it’s hella overdone.
I dont understand why theres so many people conplaining about how the ml hasnt done anything good and how there was no redemption arc when bro literally went thru all stages of grief. This was literally the first yaoi where i have seen the ml actually go thru something and spiral into depression. And let me tell yall. I have read alot. But what impressed me is how the author actually portrayed heartbreak and the spiral u go thru. Cause it is sadly a rarity.
I loved the story and the creator note was the cherry on top; how they talk about the novel and their understanding, respect, and creativity while adapting the novel was unmatched. Can't wait for their next work
Does someone know what will happen to Elsen??
Will the ML actually kill him?
The MC wants to be happy and the ML doesn’t deserve to be happy but if the MC's happiness is to be with the ML so be it
I just noticed that Minjae is the one who paid the waiter to go and say that girl is waiting for heechan to see his reaction
Finally, a kidnapping BL where the Mc actually escape
Rapists can never be forgiven.
One can feel pity for the desperate attempts a rapist does to redeem themselves, but it doesn't change the fact they were a rapist.
Just because Ido does everything in his power to change the trajectory of the second lifetime doesn't mean the first lifetime is just a dream we can forget, because the first lifetime was very real. Lives were abused, fidelity and trust was broken, purity was tainted, and autonomy withdrawn. Sejin lived through /all that/ and /died/, he /shot himself/.
It doesn't change anything and it never will because /Sejin is dead/.
This is why it's difficult to actually critically digest this story because it takes the consequence of rape and abuse literally. You see the trauma, you see the lifelong aftermath, in fact you see it affect even the regression timeline. Even after Sejin's death, Sejin's mind, body, and soul still recalls the trauma of things he knows and believes has never experienced.
At this point it isn't really about it you are Team A (Ido and Sejin should have a happy ending regardless of their past) or Team B (they are better off parting ways), because either way, it has always been about the personal journey and growth of overcoming the self-inflicted hatred and the lifetime worth of trauma.
Let's not forget that if this wasn't an omegaverse, Ido never would have found out Sejin's memories/emotions. He never would have understood the depth of self-loathing, the depression, and the anger that Sejin felt. Ido's guilt only began when he forced bonded with Sejin. Maybe his guilt would have started differently if it wasnt omegaverse, maybe it would've began after seeing Sejin's cold and dead body, but the point is - Ido only understood because of the rape-bonding.
The fact it took him raping Sejin to understand all that trauma is something far too despicable, far too inhumane, that it is genuinely unforgivable. That is beyond redemption.
We're here reading and witnessing the raw unraveling of two very broken people trying to navigate such a complicated relationship. Because, yes, they are fated and bonded together. Being bonded is something you can't reverse unless one dies.
Does Sejin want the bond? It's complicated. The trauma of Sejin#1 is too explosive it probably somehow overwrites Sejin#2 because if we only consider Sejin#2's emotions, he would have loved to keep the bond. He would do anything and everything to keep he bond because he loves Ido. He cares for him, worries about him, and wants to make the effort to keep the relationship strong and valid. But Sejin#1 makes that love broken.
Does Ido want the bond? Even more so. The reason he regressed and did all those things was to make sure Sejin lives a good life where he doesn't have to end up killing himself. But his own desires were also weaved into that plan. The slow descent to passion and desire, Ido couldn't help it. Sejin was so lovely, he wanted to relish the selfish second lifetime to use all his time to adore and worship the man he took for granted. But amidst all that, his sins weigh heavily on his head that keeps his gaze downcast. He can't look up, he couldn't dare to do so.
Ido can never be forgiven, but it doesn't mean their relationship has to end. It will just never be as happy and as pristine as it used to. They will have to bear the weigh of their first lives together if they choose to remain by each other's side, they will have to navigate the complex feelings of having been the abuser and having been once the abuser.
Sejin can never be that naive anymore. He'll just have to learn to love Ido again as both Sejin#1 and Sejin#2 while Ido will have to learn that his love cannot be weaved from guilt. His gifts, acts of service, and words of affirmation, cannot be remedies of his past wrong doings, he needs to somewhat properly compartmentalize his first life and second life's memories so he can actually love Sejin for who he is now. He cannot love him just because he was Ido's greatest regret in the first life. He has to see Sejin beyond the abuse and trauma.
That's just my two cents. I really love the slow burn it's so worth it and the expressions and everyhting in this manhwa is an absolute masterpiece.
I don’t know why the top gives off a “nice guy” vibe, he’s not really a good person especially with the last chapter where he jerks off while the bottom is sleeping but I think it’s normal in BL logic ╮(￣▽￣)╭
I was interested in their dynamic and I thought it would be a slow burn but with spicy moments but their first time doing it was horrible it was really painful to read
I can’t explain it but the mc give the vibe of “ main character “ but in annoying way
Like of course you can beat the mafia for your situationship