beta
Like, seriously, around ch 30 I had to check the chapter 75 just to see if it's a happy ending cause GIRL I wasnt expecting it at some point tbh. At chapter 8 or so I decided to stop reading it as I was so triggered and so fucking sad - it goes beyond that, all the time I was reading it I suddenly felt frickin nauseous aF and that lasted for 2 whole days of reading it, when it all ended I started feeling a bit better but I never even expected such a somatic reaction to all of it.... That was the first or second time I ever felt like that while reading something. When I thought about that it happens everyday to people like Geom all over world I kinda felt broken and in mental crisis ( yea yea I know what I was starting so I'm the only one to blame) and I truly wanted it to stop AND - normally I would stop reading it, but I just couldn't bring myself to do it somehow. Not cause how good it was (it was fuckin great writing) but I felt so guilty at the thought that I will stop reading it while so many people go through this in real life, and they can't just shut it down like I can. I honestly read it while nauseous aF, not eating for 2 days cause I just couldn't stomach any food I felt so bad, but I felt like the victims (in this case Geom, but all of them) deserve this act of respect. I felt I had a duty of a human being to get to know this realities, maybe in manga, but those feelings were real and I felt like a lot of people that went through similar experiences must have and will feel similar to him. So like, I loved it but also it honestly felt like a torture. Idk maybe there's something wrong with me but it was just educational and made me conscious of human and sex trafficking happening all over the world all over again. I won't say it was a pleasant read. It was educational one, a necessary one. But honestly if someone considers reading it but have a lot of empathy or has a fragile mind that tends to have depressive thoughts - maybe don't read it. Idk. It was a few days ago that I finished but I still kinda feel like I am picking up my insides from the dirty floor.