addict's Things

I mean just all the responsibilities and just dealing with expectations or judgment from others.

I just feel like part of me doesn’t care bout my future. I just wanna be a shut-in that’s on my phone all the time. It’s just tbh aside from hentai there’s nothing I look forward to and even if I did quit it, I’d have no other effective way to mange my emotions. I just feel sad, angry, powerless, and worthless often. I don’t like when others judge me but at the same time I don’t think I could ever become someone they won’t judge.

I just can’t build interest and have hobbies. I’m either emotionally overwhelmed or just find the activity pointless like I’d rather be on my phone scrolling or on here. I also just have no ambition. I just wanna be closed off from the world and rest mostly. I don’t want friends either. It just feels like a chore to talk to people. I have to think of what to say, what to ask, how to respond, etc. But then I’m labeled as weird bc I’m quiet. But even if I did try, people anyways don’t like me. I’m not fun to be around and I have no intention of changing that bc I just can’t. I get drained easily and if I pretend to be someone I’m not, I’ll get exhausted in a short while.