sleeplessmania

From her obsession with Kael, to the trauma of being yanked away from her home world and seeing her "anchor" to the new world kill himself, Hestia has never known a moment of true peace.

She's always jumping from one plan to the next, seeking vengeance against Diana and the prince is a big one,but then there's: keeping Kael alive and healthy, making the dukedom prosper, keeping the empire stable (and away from war) ,taking down the church, and a thousand other small things.

She does all of this ,in my opinion, in an attempt to feel in control and a part of the "narrative "(world). She's grounding herself. She never really got over anything. She never had the chance ,really. There's always something "more urgent " to take care that goes back to her main priority: Kael.

And while some may argue that Diana is her foil,I personally belive that it's Kael. Her passion to his calm. Her provoking tendencies to his role as peace-keeper/diplomat. Even when they were both playing the role of diplomats, Hess admitted that Kael seemed naturally suited to role whereas she has to painstakingly train and focus on it. They both had the ability to love deeply,obsessively, but their actions diverged in the OG storyline.

Kael would have rather (did!) Kill himself in the name of/absence of his love,knowing that he could not bare to force himself in the situation and longer is that was what Diana truly wished for. Hes has lost her anchor in the previous time line, and has convinced herself that it could be traced back to specific people, to specific issues. Hes went back in time to fix it. She could not handle being without her love and fought tooth and nail to be near him, doing things in his name (vengeance) even when he's shown time and time again that he does not wish for it. Even explicitly stating it.

Again, this time, it's Hes who can't handle the news (in an extreme manner). She disassociates. She tries to kill herself. And while,yes,she's been told that she has his love,she's also anchored herself to vegance this entire time, in the chance that Kael would discard her. She's free-floating in the world again. She can't handle that.

And in a twist (parallel!) It's Kael that saves her. She's been consumed by vegance and he doesn't know what to do. This time, again, it's him who can't bare the thought of being without his love. But this time, he will fight tooth and nail to keep her with him. Grounding her to this realtity in a way,maybe not completely dependent on his existence this time (like Hes tried to so desperately to do for Kael, in his best interest,without asking him what he wanted). He's trying to push past the vegance because he's reflected and thinks that's what will keep her in his life (if he succeeds).

So,ya, while I was little bummed to see her revenge plot seemingly get derailed out of nowhere, the reader in me is eating this shit up. It's a fantastic Lil twist IMO.

Your relationship should NEVER make you feel small. Lesser. Ill- physically,mentally, or emotionally. Burn bridges with these people to protect yourself because God knows they'd set you a lite if you so hinted at being their equal or prove to be better than them at anything.

May that kind of "love" never find any of y'all good folks.